Promise Song (Day 147)

He awoke in a haze, only dimly aware of his surroundings. He clumsily pawed the other side of the bed, expecting to find her there--but instead his had caressed nothing but a cold bed sheet. His eyes fluttered open gradually, but his vision refused to come into focus. All that he beheld was a blurry sea of only vaguely recognizable shapes. He groaned. His entire body was wracked with various pains and aches. He felt as if he had been in bed for most of his life.

It was colder than he remembered it being when he had fallen asleep. He could just barely sense the shafts of sunlight filtering in through the window but still a chill persisted. It wasn't frigid, but it was just cold enough to be bothersome. It was the kind of cold that made you want to pull a blanket over yourself, but this man had no blanket. It was just cold enough to provoke a restless and unsatisfying rest. That must be what had happened. His aches and pains must stem from a night of fitful sleep.

He tried to grasp the shaft of sunlight and hold it for his own. He wanted to wrap himself in its golden warmth. The sun would be his blanket. It refused to bend to his call and continued to stubbornly pierce his field of vision. Stars were dancing in his eyes now, but his surroundings were becoming clearer. Or perhaps they weren't. This didn't look right at all.

The walls were constructed from textured, oaken logs, their grooves and contours shaped ostensibly by the effects of nature. Here and there were small openings through which peeked sunlight--and the chill air. Reflexively, he tried to draw his blanket closer around him, but as he had learned before it was no longer there. Upon further inspection, he then came to realize he wasn't even in his own bed--no small surprise considering he'd not once beheld the place he currently resided.

Panic had yet to permeate his thoughts. He was too sleepy and disoriented for that to happen. He was instead experiencing a lazy sense of bemusement. He had awakened in a bed not his own in a house not his own. Well--calling it a house was a rather charitable way to put it. It was more a shack or a cabin. It was tiny. It was unlikely to be suitable as a place of residence for more than one person at a time. It was comprised of one small room and unless he missed his guess, had not been lived in for some time.

The bed was a shabby thing, the mattress torn and tattered, springs jutting out in some rather unfortunate places. He grimaced as he shifted his weight and felt the painful prick of a spring in his left shoulder blade. He couldn't imagine ever sleeping on such a bed of his own free will--he'd much rather sleep on the floor! Regardless, it seemed he'd found the culprit responsible for his miserably aching body. As weary as he remained, he did not desire to remain in the bed any longer. With a concerted effort, he managed to extricate himself from it and struggle to his feet.

His head was swimming. How long had he been asleep? Had he been carried off by thugs and abandoned in the woods? He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans, searching for his things. No car keys. No wallet. It didn't really mean anything. He usually left them on the night table next to his bed at night, along with his glasses. He rubbed his bleary eyes once more. Right. His glasses. That might explain why he couldn't see very well.

For a long time he just stood there, struggling to think through the situation. It was difficult for him to put his thoughts in order. There was a colossal block on his mental pathways, preventing him from assessing the situation. He felt as if he'd been hit in the head with a rock. For all he knew he had been. He ran his fingers experimentally through his longish brown hair, searching for a lump that might indicate he'd been attacked. He found nothing.

The pain in his head was more of a mental pain, anyway. He couldn't think. The cold air was raising goosebumps on his bare forearms and continued to be a source of great irritation. The coarse wooden floor beneath him was cold, too. He paced a few steps, trying to work circulation into his limbs. He felt a few blades of grass between his toes. This place had been uninhabited long enough for the very floor to become overgrown.

The man caught sight of a filthy mirror hanging from a nail on the wall opposite the bed. He couldn't see his reflection very clearly from that distance, so he advanced toward it cautiously. What greeted him was a somewhat surly, imposing face, engulfed by a wild and shaggy beard--though it had not yet grown long enough to spill onto his chest. The man in the mirror knitted his eyebrows on confusion. That man in the mirror, though clearly recognizable as the man looking into it was also like a stranger. How might a man become so divorced from his sense of self that he fails to recognize the man that looks back at him in the mirror?

He made a few experimental expressions in the mirror. He raised an eyebrow. He gave an exaggerated frown. He smiled, though refused to show his teeth. He never showed his teeth. The man was pretty sure he'd heard somewhere that showing teeth was a sign of aggression in the animal kingdom. He held no delusions that he was superior to those animals. Also, he was sensitive about his crooked teeth.

Vultures Descend (Day 146)

It can be challenging to think about something to write every single day, but I think it's also important that I continue to do so. It keeps my brain operating and prevents it from melting into a pile of sludge. I've done far too much damage to my thought process over the years. I think this exercise has possibly restored some of my lost mental faculties. (?)

I'm still kind of playing Path of Exile nonstop. I predict I'll get burned out on it sooner or later but for now it's a really pleasing diversion. Since I've finished the main story of the game, I can also mark it as Beaten on my Backloggery, which fools me into thinking I've done something even remotely productive. I've even gotten some material for this blog out of it! But I think that's drying up approximately now, because there's only so much I can say about a game where you rove around cutting up demons and collecting the riches that spill from their gutted carcasses.

I want to talk about The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle because it's the first book I've read in a very long time--but I think I still want to wait on it. I'm not even halfway finished so I feel like I don't have a fair interpretation of it. Suffice to say though, I'm quite enjoying it. It's sort of like a breath of fresh air because I haven't experienced anything like it lately. I haven't immersed myself in stories and characters--it's all been video games with mindless gameplay. I haven't watched any films recently and the most recent TV series I watched was The Walking Dead, which, while having some emphasis on character development, is at its heart a story about killing zombies.

I'm excited when I think about all the books I could potentially read soon. It seems that in my hiatus from books I've become quite the slow reader. Even though I quite enjoy the book I'm reading now I'm making quite slow progress--although I'm not devoting the entirety of my day to it, either. That honor is currently being heaped upon Path of Exile and it's possible that won't change within the next week or so. However, after I'm done with it or have decided not to devote so much time to it, I'm going to start reading a lot more. I have some more Marukami to check out and I think I'd like to read some Terry Pratchett. I've read several of his books already (years ago) and adored them.

What I'm going to do for right now is listen to some new music. I took a gander at my recommended artists on last.fm and chose a few albums that seemed interesting. I decided on Disconnected by Greymachine (noise/industrial project from Aaron Turner of Isis and Justian Broadrick of Jesu), Palms self-titled (post-rock featuring members from Isis and Deftones), All Around Us by Miaou (Japanese post-rock), and From Fathoms by Gifts from Enola (post rock).

Goodbye Enemy Airship (Day 145)

I have been feeling grumpy today! I really dislike when I get like this because I feel like that's not the kind of person I am at all. But I'm weak, and I succumb to minor irritations sometimes--and really, it stems from a huge number of little things that pile up and put me in bad moods. I don't take the time to sort them out and deal with them. Instead, I just bottle them up and refuse to confront them and they just sort of fester and bubble in my psyche.

I hate to fall on that old cliche about New Years' resolutions, but I am hoping that I'll start to set things in motion in the new year. I need to get a job and I need to wake up about my life in general. I'm stagnating and I'm way too complacent about that. I don't have to be depressed about my predicament but I do have to be actively pursuing a change. That has to happen. I feel like I tried earlier this year, but I didn't try hard enough. I was discouraged by my setbacks and I can't let that happen. I will fail repeatedly, but I can't let that stop me from trying.

Somewhere inside me is a worthy human being. Despite my apathy and cynicism, I know that to be true. He's down there somewhere and he's waiting to be let out. I've gotta feel better about myself even when things aren't looking so great. I'm overweight, extremely socially awkward, and I'm aging. But I'm still me and I deserve to have a chance at existing. I believe that. I have to believe that.

I'm going to continue writing every day. I'll keep at it, even when I don't think my writing's very good. Perhaps especially so in that case. If it's not good, then I'll make it good. I'm reading now, and I'm going to continue reading. There's not some force field in place that prevents me from enjoying literature--the love is still there. All that has prevented me from pursuing it in the past few years is laziness, pure and simple. I can be passionate about books just as I'm passionate about video games, about films, about music. There's a lot of media out there worthy of being absorbed--and even if I can't call myself an aficionado, I can report my honest impressions of this stuff as a neophyte.

Things are not the best right now. I don't feel that drive to get up and get things done--and I'm not sure how to get it back or if indeed I ever had it at all. I feel like I've had brief moments of incredible motivation, but they it usually vanishes as mysteriously as it came. I need to clean the house. I need to do laundry. I need to go on walks. I need to call about my overdue student loans. There are a lot of things I need to do, but I put them off and I sit in front of my computer and melt into a puddle of goo.

I don't know if this is just going to wear off on its own. I guess it could, but it probably won't. I think I'll have to force myself. That's difficult. That's really difficult. But I think I have to. And if I have to, I will. Right now I'm exhausted. It's 8:11 AM and I've been up all night. I haven't been productive--although I did take the time to cook myself a meal. I've been playing Path of Exile and League of Legends for a ridiculously long period of time. I play with friends. It's my only way to socialize. But it's not really all about that. It's more about finding an excuse not to do things that are important--an excuse not to take care of some very pressing concerns.

An excuse not to wake up and face what's going on in my life.

Path (Day 144)

Whew, alright, entry #2 here. Might as well go ahead and get this one of the way as well since I'm probably not going to be awake until the evening sometime.

--

The creature behind her was wheezing hungrily as it scurried through the underbrush, its thick tail thunking against the tree trunks. It seemed to be possessed with boundless purpose, although it was unlikely it recognized the futility of its task. Casnie imagined she would have little issue maintaining a lead on the strange creature indefinitely, although the way in which she was being tirelessly pursued was disconcerting, to say the least.

Equally concerning was the fact that she was increasingly unsure as to where she should head. Although she didn't dare stop to survey her surroundings, she did try to get her bearings on her general location while moving as quickly as possible. Her eyes flicked wildly from side to side as she weaved in between trees and through densely tangled brush. She imagined for a moment that the reptile might be similarly confused. It was clear to her that it had been deposited into a strange and unfamiliar land much as she herself had. Seemed to be a lot of that going around lately.

Seeing no obvious landmarks that might guide her way, Casnie risked calling out a few times. She was somewhat concerned that more of these alien creatures might be lurking nearby, but she was growing more than a little panicked. The forest was vast and unforgiving. As slow and plodding as that thing was, it was obviously still quite fearsome. She might well tire long before it did. What would happen then?

The twisted trees of Lakara seemed to have a way of tricking the eye. She found it difficult to get a proper perspective on her surroundings--and being in constant motion certainly didn't help in that regard. At present she was hard pressed to tell the difference between left and right. It was ludicrous. She should have been able to see a silhouette of the mountains looming in the distance in one of those directions, but everywhere she looked she saw only endless green. She glimped the diamond-shaped head of her pursuer perhaps a dozen yards behind her. Unfortunately for her, it had not seemed to lose interest in its would-be prey.

Casnie grimaced. It was unlikely she'd be able to find her way back to her companions if she kept running further and further off course fleeing from a wild animal. She had been hoping it would eventually lose interest and give up, but this hunter seemed particularly tenacious. Although she didn't relish the thought of taking its life, she was willing to do what was necessary--but she would have to be quick about it.

As swiftly as she could manage while still following the proper procedure, Casnie reached out to the Strand. For the briefest of moments, she felt herself drift outside of her physical body. As quickly as the sensation was felt was it banished--and the trickle of energy entered her veins. She stared intently at the lowered reptilian head crashing through the brush and loosed a stream of fire from her outstretched palm. The white hot tongue of flame streaked its way toward the creature and collided with it with a load roar.

The stout, bulky creature emitted a guttural grunt but continued to move, albeit more slowly. It seemed at most to be mildly inconvenienced by the flames now engulfing its head. The Strander regarded this result with a not insignificant amount of surprise, her large brown eyes open particularly wide.

"Whoa."

If she tried to hit it with anything more powerful than that she might set the whole forest ablaze. It seemed her best course of action at that point might just be to run. Very quickly. She did so, redoubling her pace.

Hung from the Moon (Day 143)

Holy crap! I completely forgot to do my blog entry for today/last night because I played Path of Exile for literally 12 hours. This is probably the first time in over four months that I've forgotten to do an entry--that's kind of mindboggling, actually.

I guess I haven't been quite this addicted to a game in awhile. It reminds me of the days when I'd play WoW or League of Legends all day every day. I haven't been as attached to those games to such a degree in quite some time now--I typically only play a few matches of League at a time, and even when I was playing WoW recently I very rarely played it more than a couple hours.

I guess this had to happen at some point. It was inevitable, I think. I've been thinking in the back of my mind that I can't keep up this output forever--surely one day I'll stop updating. I'll stop writing. I'll lose motivation and maybe discontinue the exercise completely. I was hoping that day would be far into the future. But you know what? That day's not today. Even though I'm extremely late on this entry, I'll still count it for yesterday. My sleep schedule is very irregular at the moment and it's certainly not the first time.

There are a variety of reasons as to why I've been so feverishly adherent to Path of Exile as of late. The primary reason would be that it's just a very fun game to play, much like its predecessor Diablo and similar games in that genre. Unlike Diablo, however, there is an extremely heavy emphasis on customization and experimentation. While I'm aware that Diablo offers a variety of viable build paths for each character class, Path of Exile really does take it a step further. With a massive passive skill tree comprised of 1350 "skill nodes," and only about 100 points to spend on that tree, there is a near infinite amount of different paths that can be taken.

In addition, there are dozens of skills available to players in Path of Exile. Skills range from melee combat, ranged spells, beneficial auras, curses, to short-term buffs. Each of these skills can be theoretically equipped to any character provided the equivalent skill gem is found. These skill gems correspond to one of three principal elements--Strength, Dexterity, and Intelligence. Each skill gem requires a certain set of stat requirements in order to be equipped and used. Progression through the passive skill tree determines your character's stat distribution and therefore which skills you may equip.

I've been playing a summoner type character wearing heavy armor. I never attack directly and spend all of my mana on summoning minions or on beneficial auras . At any given time, I have approximately fifteen different minions following me around absolutely plowing through the hordes of enemies. My progression through the skill tree has provided my minions with substantial boosts to their power, such as increased health, increased damage, and the ability to benefit from stats from my equipped shield. Support gems further augment their power. The Spell Totem support gem, for instance, is attached to my Summon Skeletons spell. The resulting spell will cast a totem that continues to spit out skeletons in groups of 2 when enemies are nearby, decreasing the burden of micromanagement somewhat.

Aside from all that, a couple of my friends are acting as enablers. When I have friends willing to play the game with me, I don't really feel the need to ever take a break, as long as they're still willing to continue. As sad as it might sound, playing these games is pretty much my primary form of social interaction--so not only is the game quite addictive on its own, it also serves as a way for me to "spend time" with friends I might not otherwise communicate with in any meaningful way.

I don't know, man. Zombies and shit.

Descent to the Zenith (Day 142)

Man, I really have not been getting enough sleep lately. I feel like this is something that I whine about in just about every entry, but it continues to be true. I guess I should probably stop leaving streams on when I go to sleep because the background noises makes my sleep restless and uncomfortable. There's something about going to sleep that is so unsettling to me, though. It's sort of lonely and dark. I'm left alone with only my thoughts--and there's also this feeling that it's a waste of time. I could be doing something else more productive than sleeping. Not that I actually would, but it's thought that keeps me awake.

I've been awakening very unsatisfied the past few days, but unfortunately I don't have the kind of disposition that allows me to easily go right back to sleep. Once I'm up, I'm up. As a result, it's 5:13 PM, only six or seven hours after I woke up and I'm sleepy--but not that kind of sleepiness where you feel it's time to rest. It's that kind of feeling where you've stuffed yourself with Christmas food and you haven't gotten enough sleep and haven't had any caffeine. It's that kind of feeling. It's very unsatisfying.

Tonight when I do eventually try to go to sleep, I'm going to block out all external stimuli. I'll turn off all the lights, turn off my monitors, and I'll read a few chapters of my book and try to drift off in as close to complete silence as I can manage. Maybe I'll even lock the cat out, as he tends to do things like chew on my beard while I'm trying to sleep. It would be nice to have a day where I feel rested and refreshed for once.

I'm happy that I'm reading again. It has come pretty easily to me, which makes me wonder why I ever stopped in the first place. I have complained frequently about a fog that muddles my thoughts--something that makes creative output difficult, but also restricts my enjoyment of the creative works of others. At least for now, I'm reading and comprehending just fine. I wonder what reading regularly will do to my perspective--or if it will have much of an effect on it at all.

A friend recommended the works of Haruki Marukami to me so I've decided to read The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. If I like it (and so far, I'm pretty sure that I do), I'm going to try out some of his other books, probably starting with Norwegian Wood. I don't want to get caught up reading through a single author's catalogue though, so I think I'd like to try someone else out after that. I'm not sure where else I might look for suggestions. I used to read a lot of fantasy, so I guess I could check out something from one of my old favorites--but I'm worried that might breed some bad habits in me.

A Song of Ice and Fire seems like a universally adored fantasy series I could try. Even if I don't end up particularly enjoying it, it's definitely a culturally relevant piece of work that likely has/will have a lot of influence on other literature and media. I've always imagined it might be a more mature evolution of something like The Wheel of Time, which I found interesting when I was younger. Even then I recognized that some aspects of it were problematic, particularly author Robert Jordan's portrayal of female characters.

Sigh. I'm glad I'm writing. I'm glad I'm reading. I'm glad I'm alive, even if sometimes living doesn't seem worth it. I'm holding out hope that there is something better on the other side of this hole.

Always a Triumph (Day 141)

I've decided to start doing some serious reading. I honestly haven't read regularly since I was in high school. I used to be a huge fan of fantasy and was reading something new every week, but for some reason that I can't really explain, my reading slowed down to a crawl after I graduated. I'm pretty sure I didn't read a single book last year and maybe not even the one before it.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm going to try to read a lot of books this next year. It's not a New Year's Resolution because those are dumb, but it is something I'd like to do. I'm really hoping that reading regularly will serve to open up my brain a bit. Even though I've been writing every day for almost five months now, my brain still feels closed off. Some days are better than others, of course, but the prevailing sentiment is that I'm creatively blocked.

I talked about this a lot yesterday trying to figure out what was causing some of these symptoms. I believe I touched on my sleeping patterns, poor diet, and lack of reading. I find it difficult to remedy the first two of those problems, but I can certainly work on the third. It's also now occurring to me that a lack of social interaction could be a large factor in my issues as well. I'm not going to say that I don't have friends--because I do, but social interaction in general is very awkward and difficult for me.

If I'm being truthful, I'd have to say that even though I'm an introvert at heart, I absolutely love having conversations with like-minded people--but I hate phone conversations and I don't particularly like being face-to-face either. I find I express myself best in text, which I guess is a weird thing to say considering I've been lamenting the fact I've had difficulty writing lately.

...

I also have this tendency of getting distracted in the middle of writing a blog entry and losing my train of thought completely. I'm pretty much surrounded by distractions--by choice. When you live alone and you're unemployed with no money, you have to figure out how to keep yourself entertained. I do so by setting up a second monitor and having something playing on it pretty much all the time. In this case it's a League of Legends stream--Scarra's to be specific.

Anyway, I like one on one conversations but I have difficulty functioning in large groups. I've been invited to a get together with some friends tomorrow night and I'm not really sure I want to go. Alcohol will be involved and who knows what else. I'm worried I'll be bored and feel out of place--even though I know all of these people and occasionally play games with them. As sad as it sounds, I feel like I might have more fun staying at home and doing something on my own.

It would probably do me some good to go hang out, but after having been subjected to a Christmas gathering just yesterday, I honestly wonder if I have the energy for it. Man, how am I supposed to function in every day life after I finally get another job? Every time I leave the house it's just such a scary prospect--I've only gotten worse about this with time. I worked in retail for four years but now that I've been away from a regular job for such a long time I feel like I've reverted back to square one. I'm twenty-six years old and I don't know how to function properly.

Love As an Expression of Gravity (Day 140)

I feel like my writing has been very lazy lately, but I guess it's better to write something rather than nothing. I keep telling myself that I can go back and revise, but am I really going to do that? I know I have the potential to write something good, but I have to find a way to open up my brain, to get those neural pathways online. I have a vague idea of where I want to take the story--that's not the problem. As of right now I feel like the overall quality of the writing is poor. It's unexciting and basic. The only thing I'm somewhat proud of that I've written recently is the "tentative rewrite" of the Terakiel/Casnie scene. And I had to dig deep even just for that.

I think in the past I've felt inspired to write because I spent most of my day away from my computer. During that time while I'm working or otherwise doing something I'd rather not do, I let my mind wander and ideas just start to emerge. When I was in school I was very inspired and felt productive--but not about my schoolwork! During every class I would think about things I could write about. I would draw in my notebook or jot down things on my laptop. Sometimes it feels like inspiration only strikes when I get distracted by something else. It never comes when I'm specifically looking for it.

This is a good reason to start running again. Usually when I'm running I don't particularly enjoy it and I find it a little boring--but because there's nothing else to do in the meantime, my mind starts to wander. I get ideas. It's not like the "majesty of nature" suffuses me with inspiration or anything melodramatic like that--it's as simple as being bored and not having anything better to do. As silly as it sounds, that's when I come up with my best ideas.

I think when I go through my normal daily routine, I end up oversaturating my brain with useless information. I read countless threads on reddit, countless tweets, and otherwise waste a lot of time doing nothing. It's like busy work for my brain, except I'm doing it willingly--and it's hard for me to stop when I have it all here at my fingertips. On the other hand, when I have a job or I'm going to school, I don't have those options. Instead, I have to think of other ways to occupy my brain so I don't fall asleep. In these scenarios I end up coming up with ideas and for some reason I can better communicate what I'm trying to say in my writing.

I just feel like there's been no flavor in my writing lately. I describe what's happening in the most barebones way which is definitely not the kind of narrative I was looking for. I want colorful language--not pretentious, mind you, but not stripped down either. I think it might simply come down to putting more effort into it. I've been phoning it in a bit lately because well, let's face it, I haven't been in a great mood. I haven't lost interest in the story by any means, but sometimes writing can feel like a chore when you barely even feel like getting out of bed!

Another thing I could do to foster inspiration is to actually, you know, read. I literally haven't read a book in years. I don't know how I expected to be able to write without taking in the work of others. Unfortunately I am completely broke and the only kinds of books I own are really old YA novels and some fantasy like The Wheel of Time. Those aren't bad, but seeing as how it was the only genre I read when I was younger I think I'd like to broaden my horizons a tad.

Whatever. I'm sleepy. I'm going to play some Path of Exile and probably pass out for awhile.

Survival (Day 139)

--

The strand of trees exploded into a shower of splinters as a fearsome creature plowed through the forest. Casnie caught a flash of dull green scales before she let out of a scream and whipped around to run in the opposite direction. The trees were tightly packed but she found a way to push through, running for what she believed might be her very life. What was that thing?

She couldn't take the time to look behind her because she might slam into a tree trunk and ruin her escape. She couldn't imagine what motivation this beast might have but it certainly didn't seem friendly. The terrifying sound of spindly trees being snapped in two as the thing ripped through the knee-high grass could be heard only feet behind her.

Casnie continued to yell behind her but it seemed as if it was to no avail. Even if Aisen and Terakiel heard her, what could they do? Aisen evidently was not a Strander and Terakiel was likely to do more harm than good. The beast behind her was rather lower to the ground than she was and grunting heavily. It was having difficulty pushing its way through the trees so it chose instead to destroy everything in its path. She chanced a glance behind her and she discovered she'd gained considerable distance on the thing--but it wasn't stopping.

It had four stubby, knotted legs supporting a bulky, muscular frame. It was vaguely reptilian in nature and covered in shiny green scales all the way down to a powerful, spiked tail. It's head was shaped like a wide triangle, perforated with ridges right below its snout, which was comprised of two slits. Above that was two deeply set black eyes. Its head was downcast as if trying to ram through anything that got in its way so she couldn't see the mouth.

She had no way of knowing what this creature was, but judging by how easily it toppled over the trees, it was stronger than your average woodland animal. It clearly did not belong in this ecosystem. It looked like something that might be more at home sunning itself on a rock in a desert--not a chilly forested area. Still, it was having enough issues following her that she wasn't in any immediate danger, but she wasn't sure how successful she'd be in trying to destroy it. She had to warn the others.

That's what she wanted to do, but as she cast a quick glance around her surroundings, she realized she wasn't sure how to get back to where she was. It had to be as simple as looping around and returning to the foot of the mountain--but in her panic, she'd lost track. Sighing in frustration, she turned around and started running again, looking for landmarks.

A Mercurian Summer (Day 138)

Today is my birthday. I am officially 1,000 years old. I celebrated by watching League of Legends streams all day. Today is the final day of the Battle of the Atlantic as well as North American LCS promotion tournament. By the time I've finished this entry I'll know whether or not Team Curse or newcomers Cognitive Gaming will make it into the NA LCS. As of this paragraph, Curse and COG are tied up at 1-1 in a best of 5 series.

Starting out the day was North America's #1 LCS team, Cloud 9 against Europe's #1 LCS team, Fnatic. They've played each other twice before but C9 lost both matchups in relatively close games. This time it seems Cloud 9 came prepared with an incredibly convincing 2-0 victory with stellar play from all players. Game 1 was put firmly into motion by Meteos's playmaking on Vi. Later on in the game he was easily able to get a triple kill with a Brutalizer + Trinity Force build.

In game 2, mid laner Hai and top laner Balls were instumental in securing victory. By the end of the game Hai was something 10-1 on Kha'Zix, leaping around the battlefield and absolutely annihilating Fnatic's health bars. Balls brought his signature champion Rumble and impressed everyone with incredible placement of his ultimate, The Equalizer, cutting off escapes and comboing with Meteos Fiddlesticks ultimates. This made it incredibly easy for Hai to jump in and collect his free kills.

Unlike just about any other team in NA, Cloud 9 takes leads and absolutely runs with them, applying as much pressure as possible to the map. Where other teams might play it safe, Cloud 9 pushes their advantages to the maximum in an attempt to close out the game as soon as possible. Where most other teams in the current meta are running supertank champions like Mundo, Renekton, and Shyvana and restricting themselves almost entirely to the AD carry trinity of Lucian, Jinx, and Sivir, C9 pulls out picks like Rumble and Kha'Zix while using Draven in both games.

Fnatic's picks were centered around winning lanes and snowballing games from there but C9 picked for team fights because they were confident they could outclass the European team even though they'd been bested twice already. Despite being convincingly beaten in the laning phase both games, C9 absolutely crushed the opposition once team fights broke out. Rekkles was consistently getting a massive CS advantage on Sneaky's Draven but eventually falling behind in gold due to global objectives and Draven picking up kills and gold from his League of Draven passive. I couldn't understand the Draven pick at first because it doesn't seem to be able to contend much with Lucian in lane despite putting out more raw damage, but it definitely seemed to work for them.

I'll probably talk about the results of Curse vs Cognitive tomorrow. It's looking like it's going to be a very long series. Game 2 was honestly very slow paced and a little boring until the base race at the very end--but Voyboy is on Ziggs for Game 3 so we might be seeing a bit more action.

Oracle (Day 137)

--

"Why is she in such a rush?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's trying to run away."

"I wish her all the luck in the world on that prospect but I can't say I have much confidence in her chances."

"I guess not. It's not like I have any better idea of where we're going."

Aisen remained silent. He and Casnie had already theorized that Terakiel was drawn to planar stones like a moth to flame--but they had no definitive proof that was the case. Encountering two stones in such a short period of time could not possibly be a coincidence, however.

"No, I guess not. I'm sure Casnie must realize we'll have a better chance out here together, though."

"She just needs some time alone. To think about what just happened to her."

 "It's a little strange, isn't it? That we would both end up here because of some strange manifestation of your--well, by accident."

"Yeah."

It was clear Terakiel was still uncomfortable discussing his powers. It was an unfortunate attitude to have because Aisen desperately hoped that Casnie would be able to teach him some small amount of discipline. He had been put in danger once already--not to mention brought to this great accursed forest in the first place. If things continued to progress as they had been, he and Casnie might have to abandon the poor man. Aisen hated the idea, but he wasn't fool enough to throw his life away due to the man's stubbornness.

He was running away from something, but Aisen wasn't sure what that might be. He wasn't sure that he wanted to know. After the man had demonstrated his terrifying potential in the cavern, Aisen couldn't begin to imagine what else he might be capable of--without the slightest guarantee he could control himself while doing so. All he had been trying to do was conjure a light and he had transformed the cavern into a sweltering pit and blasted a hole in the wall. What would he do if he actually did mean harm to something?

As much as Aisen empathized with Terakiel's predicament, he was pragmatic enough to realize when his safety was in danger. He would employ every method he could think of to encourage the Strander to reign in his powers--but if he was unreceptive, other avenues would have to be considered.

Terakiel would inevitably lead them to another planar stone; Aisen was confident of that. Once he did, they would have a decision to make. Aisen and Casnie could fly the coop through the Exod before the Strander had a chance to destroy it--or they could throw their lot in with this wildly dangerous man they had just met and had no particular reason to trust. At a glance, it didn't seem like a very difficult decision to make--but this man was in trouble, and he had no desire to abandon him.

The Traveler (Day 136)

The rough-shod terrain of the mountain path gave way to greener turf as Casnie pulled even farther ahead of her two companions. For the first time she was bearing witness to the thick strands of trees that composed the Lakara Wood. Aside from the mountains behind her, she was surrounded by an endless ocean of green. She found herself wondering how Aisen and Terakiel had managed to navigate such a maze.

She couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to be stranded in the middle of these vast woods with no guarantee of food, water, or shelter. How could one hold onto their sanity in such a situation? The Wilder must have gone through quite the ordeal to throw away his safe home--and family? What else did he leave behind? And why? She remembered things--or rather, she had fragments of the man's memories, but she couldn't quite put them together. She thought he must have done something terrible.

The weather was very different in this place. In Sidea the climate was balmy but mostly pleasant. She was not entirely accustomed to the bitter chill lingering in the air of Lakara but her long cloak was a small comfort in that regard. She supposed it might have been polite to offer it to Terakiel, whose clothing situation was rather more dire--but she allowed herself this one small privilege. After all, she'd been brought here against her will!

Casnie heard the sound of damp leaves crunching beneath her shoes as she advanced a small ways into the forest. Initially, she thought it might be a good idea to scout ahead to figure out a good path to take, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that no such path existed. The trees were thick and showed no signs of thinning out for as far as she could see. Even now she was having to squeeze in between trees to make her way.

Even if Terakiel had a vague idea of where to go, it would be a tough path. It was clear this section of the forest had not been touched by humans in a very long time. It was overgrown with trees and other vegetation. Very few branches and twigs littered the forest floor and the sounds of small woodland animals could only barely be heard. This area was seemingly abandoned by all forms of life.

When she heard the sound of crumpling leaves and the twisting of branches behind her, she could only assume her two companions had finally managed to catch up. As she turned around to face in the direction of the sound, she discovered that she was very wrong.

Atlas Novus (Day 135)

I am having one of those days where I'm feeling particularly pessimistic and irritable. Little things will set me off and I can't seem to have fun doing much of anything. Unfortunately, these kinds of days are not terribly rare for me. I think there are many contributing factors to these moods, including poor diet, unpredictable sleeping patterns, and my cat. He is rude.

I am feeling more than ever the urge to close in on myself and ignore the outside world--which is problematic considering that's what I've pretty much been doing for months now. I was hoping that I was getting closer to wanting to get out of it, but days like today don't go very far in reinforcing that belief. 

Craving solitude isn't always a bad thing, though. Sometimes it leads to more productive things. Creative things. Last night I wrote something pretty nice--but tonight. . .tonight I don't really feel up to it. It's around 8 o'clock, which is a lot later than I usually write these entries. On the average day I will have finished up by around noon. Yesterday I wrote at around 6 AM because I was having trouble getting to sleep and I guess inspiration struck.

I don't know. I guess I'm proud that I've kept up this writing exercise for such a long period of time, but I'm also irritated at how insubstantial some of it is. I'm not proud of a lot of my writing. I recognize it is very flawed. Sometimes it's wordy and sometimes it's just boring. If I can't clearly envision the scene I'm writing about I feel like I'm phoning it in. I know I can write better but it takes effort. What I wrote yesterday took effort--and sometimes, I just feel like I'm not in a position where I can put forth that effort.

If only I could return to those days where I felt creative and full of ideas. I was excited about writing a new blog entry every day--but when all of my days blend together into a colorless blur I start to lose my passion for it. Not having anything to say about my day is fine--I was never big on that anyway. But when every day is the same and you barely leave the house, it takes a toll on your creativity. I don't know why that's the case, but it's true.

I want to be excited about things again. I miss it. On days like today it seems like that feeling is utterly out of reach--but I know it's there. It can be depressing to write a blog entry when I'm in a mood like this because it just emphasizes how. . .blank I feel. I don't like when this blog has a string of passionless entries, even if no one reads them. I read them. They give me hope that I'm still here.

The Dark Horse (Day 134)

(The following is an experimental rewrite of a recent section of the story with more contemporary dialogue and more detailed descriptions of characters. Just trying some stuff out to help my brain breathe a little.)

Scarcely before he could react, a woman appeared before Terakiel. She was slender, but of average height, with wispy pale brown hair falling just below her ears. She had large, expressive eyes--deeply brown, in sharp contrast to the muted color of her hair.  Her expression was a complicated one.  There were traces of fear, of surprise, but above all else she seemed. . .curious.

She was dressed in a loose-fitting lavender tunic that rested on her delicate shoulders, the neckline exposing her collarbone and a rumpled white undershirt. It was trimmed in white with a series of small holes in the cloth forming a looping diagonal pattern. Over this she wore a dark blue cloak of coarse, tough fabric, which hung all the way down to her crumpled leather shoes. Her legs, which were obscured just above her knees by the skirt of the tunic were ostensibly bare--but upon closer inspection could be found to be covered in a sheer white cloth. He'd never seen anything like it in Tombolin, where garments were available in such varied shades as "dirt brown" and "soot gray." Unlike Terakiel's tattered rags, this woman's clothing was in very good condition. It was clear she had not been on the road recently--or perhaps, he silently amended, ever.

Terakiel was suddenly uncomfortably aware of just how haggard and ragged he must look to this woman. The ridiculous nature of the situation was not lost on him. He had lost control of the terrible powers within and unknowingly willed a human being to hurtle wildly through time and space--and he was worried about how he must look in front of a pretty girl!

It was true, though. Terakiel's cloak and tunic had long since been discarded. The cloak had been postively sodden with rainwater, making it difficult for him to continue on without letting it go. The tunic, on the other hand, had been ripped into shreds to serve as a makeshift bandage for the wound on his lower back--an area of his body that continued to dully ache even now. It was only one of many scrapes and bruises that crisscrossed the weary man's upper body.

He ran his fingers through his tangled and grimy mane of red hair, grimacing at the texture of it. Unlike this woman, he had been on the road--although only in the most figurative sense. The road in this case was the great Lakara Wood, and it had not been forgiving to his physical or mental state. The tall grasses, the brambles, the inclement weather, the lean meals, the days of travel--all had taken their toll. He imagined this must all be written so clear on his worn face.

Surely it was obvious to this woman, whose dark eyes seemed to reflect his thoughts. She knew him. In some ways, she was him. This woman, this Strander--she too was capable of channeling terrible, destructive energies. For her, perhaps, she did not balk at the thought of surrendering to those violent impulses. What kind of person must that make her? What kind of person could hold death in the hand and direct it willingly?

Was it the kind of person that presently seemed to be directing a knowing stare in Terakiel's direction? It was as if she knew everything about the person he was but she wasn't recoiling in terror. Sure, she was curious, and perhaps even a little scared, but she wasn't ready to run. She wanted to know why. She needed to know why.

She pursed her lips and then opened them--paused, for a moment, as if she were about to speak but was silenced. Terakiel shivered as a draft of chill air drifted in from the fractured cavern window behind him. There was little he could do to enliven the situation; what could he say, after all, to the woman with which he'd just shared such a strange experience? It was entirely unclear to Terakiel what she must know--and how she must feel about what she had learned.

"I--I'm sorry," sputtered Terakiel, his words punctuated by a dusty cough. He'd just awoken and found it monumentally difficult to force words from his throat. He felt flustered because he could not begin to imagine what else he could offer her other than a half-hearted apology. It was his fault she was here and unfortunately there was little he could do about that.

The woman seemed hesitant to reply. Terakiel imagined she must be confused and upset by her new surroundings, but she did not seem overly distressed. Her expression was as mild as ever. it was as if she had been given a particularly complex puzzle to solve and she hadn't the faintest idea where to begin in solving it. Did she feel as if she was not in danger? Perhaps she did not comprehend the seriousness of her situation. . .

"Do you--do you know where you are?" Terakiel offered helplessly, his palm pressed to his forehead in a somewhat sheepish manner.

The woman opened her mouth once more as if to speak. Instead, she affixed Terakiel with her gaze and her expression softened. She suddenly seemed very sad, and unless he was mistaken, sympathetic. He was once again uncomfortable because it was not clear what she had learned about his past. However, he had little time to consider his feelings on the matter before the young woman had wrapped the man in an embrace.
Confused, Terakiel was hesitant to accept the gesture at first--but he sensed no malice in her whatsoever. She seemed to have no intention of pulling away, so he wrapped his arms around the stranger as well, his hands coming to rest on the soft, silky fabric of the back of her tunic underneath her cloak. Unsure of how to proceed, he patted her back awkwardly.

He felt the wispy strands of her hair and her soft breaths tickling his bare neck and the fullness of her chest pressed against his. Truthfully, it was the warmest he'd felt in weeks. Was she so perceptive and empathetic  that she could sense the struggle that he'd been through over the past few days and simply wanted to comfort him? Or had their strange communion given her unique insight into his past? Maybe it was neither of those things and she was cold and scared--and needed him for comfort instead. He held the woman tightly and mumbled oncoherent reassurances to no one in particular. Although they had just met, he could not call her a stranger.

She pulled back suddenly. He wondered for a moment if he had misread the situation and proceeded in the wrong way, but she didn't seem insulted or upset. In fact, she seemed taken aback--as if her impulsive action was as much a surprise to her as it had been to Terakiel.

"I'm sorry," she said finally. Her voice had a commanding resonance to it. Even if Terakiel had not the direct subject of her statement, he imagined he would have had no choice but to listen. "Something just came over me. I just--"

"I brought you here," Terakiel blurted. "You're here because of me."

"Well, I'm flattered, but I don't think. . .What do you mean 'you brought me here?' "

"It was an accident. I'm sorry." It wasn't a very good explanation, Terakiel had to admit.

"An accident? I'm afraid I don't understand. . ." She surveyed the dimly lit environs of the cavern, her eyes coming to rest on the crumbled remnants of the planar stone. "I just--I don't understand. What happened?"

"I'm sorry," Terakiel repeated. "I. . .I don't know much about this myself."

"Just what is going on here?" She seemed to be asking herself as much as anyone else. "I was in the Exod and I--I couldn't move. It was terrible. And then, I did--I did a terrible thing and--"

"I brought you here," Terakiel interrupted. "But I don't know how. I have these--these powers, but I don't know how to control them. I'm a--a Strander. I guess."

Her entire face contorted in surprise. "You're a. . .Wilder."

"A what?"

"A Wilder. You have the talent but you were never disciplined. It's unheard of--almost entirely."

Terakiel was unsure of how he might respond to that. As Aisen had told him, many cultures beyond Lakara were inundated with the use of energies channeled from the Strand, a strange artifact that Terakiel himself knew close to nothing about. Evidently he was "communing" with it on a semi regular basis, although he would much rather sever all ties with it completely.

"I'm so. . .sorry." She seemed genuinely devastated. "We've gone through so much."

"We have. . ." Terakiel agreed before stopping to think what he might mean by that. Of course--the communion. They had shared minds for the briefest of moments, but that moment had far eclipsed the moment he'd shared with Aisen. He knew things about this woman--but only if he stopped to think about it.

She was a Sidean girl, eighteen years old, and loved her sister very much. There were a thousand inconsequential details that he couldn't quite bring to the forefront, but they were still very much there.
This woman must surely be experiencing the same thing. She knows things about me, perhaps most things about me--but she can't quite organize the data in a meaningful way.

The woman's brow furrowed in confusion as she came to realize what she had said. "I mean--I guess it seems like you've been through a lot. I'm sorry if I--I mean, we're strangers."

"It's okay. Really, it's fine. I have been through a lot. I think you have too."


"Yeah. . ."

Odyssey (Day 133)

I've been playing a lot of Path of Exile recently, which I've talked about previously on this blog. I haven't made a lot of progress because I've been branching out and trying different classes and playing it with friends. It's a free game, so it's easy to just suggest someone download it and try it out. It really stands out in comparison to other similar games. It lacks the polish of Diablo 3, but I feel like I have a lot more freedom to experiment.

Even though there are only a few classes, nothing is set in stone about them. If you are creative enough with your skill tree, you can customize your character to do whatever you want. Depending on the class you've chosen it may not necessarily be optimal, though. Every class starts at a different spot in Path of Exile's gigantic skill tree--so if you're trying to make a spellcasting Marauder you'll inevitably have to travel through a lot of "talents" that will end up being poorly suited to your specialization.

I just really like how all of the stats work together in this game. There are three primary mitigation stats in Path of Exile: armour, energy shield, and evasion. These are associated with the three main statistics of strength, intelligence, and dexterity respectively. Marauders are associated with strength, Witches are associated with intelligence, and Rangers are associated with dexterity. However, certain classes are associated with multiple stats. Shadows, for instance, are dexterity/intelligence characters so their skills and gear focus on a mixture of melee attacks, traps, and spells. They use both evasion and energy shield, but they won't dodge attacks as consistently as a ranger of absorb as much as a Witch with their energy shields.

You can customize these hybrid classes so that they're closer to one extreme than another--say you wanted something very similar to a ranger but you like to have access to certain spells or the energy shield mitigation stat. You're not prohibited from experimenting with "off stats" with the non-hybrid classes either, but you'll likely have to go further out of your way in those classes' skill trees to do so.

Path of Exile rewards experimentation and theorycrafting far more than other games in the genre. I had fun with Diablo 3 and Torchlight II but there's only so many options available to you in those games and much of it hinges on gear that's not easily acquired. Hopefully I'll actually get through act 2 soon so I can have more to say about this game. 

Bound to Be That Way (Day 132)

--

The noonday sun was little comfort from the still prevalent chill in the air. Casnie felt a not insignificant amount of sympathy for Terakiel, whose lack of clothing might soon become a problem. She wondered how long the man had been wandering the woods in that state. She drew her cloak more tightly around her as she advanced down the mountain path.

The ledge outside the cavern had gradually fed into a much wider and safer pathway that snaked its way through the mountains. Although Casnie had slowed her pace considerably after reaching safer ground, the two men had not yet caught up. She could make them out in the distance as they carefully navigated the more treacherous terrain she had put behind her. She chuckled. They certainly weren't the most graceful men she'd encountered--but then, in her experience, it wasn't uncommon at all for men to be clumsy.

It certainly was a strange situation she had landed in. She couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't yet given in to panic. She hadn't the faintest idea where she was and it was clear Aisen knew nothing about it himself. Without a moment's hesitation she had allied herself with a man who--a man who had killed his father! What kind of person could be capable of such a heinous act of violence?

As much as she condemned what Terakiel had done, she couldn't help but feel he wasn't at fault. Perhaps their momentary communion had muddled her judgment. It felt so safe and natural to trust him--but was that really the best course of action? It might be better to keep him at arm's length, she thought. He's dangerous, even if he won't acknowledge it himself.

Working together with those two was an act of necessity--nothing more. Terakiel would inevitably lead them to another planar stone. Casnie's best course of action at that point would be to enter the Exod before the rogue Strander had a chance to destroy it. After she made her escape, he would be alone once more. . .but maybe that was her only choice. She wished it wasn't, but what other options did she have? He did not seem at all receptive to learning how to control his powers. What had happened in that cave would happen again. They'd summon some other unfortunate stranger and the four of them would be stranded once more.

There was no telling what other things that man might be capable of. She could tell his powers were immense. That kind of power without discipline was unspeakably dangerous. What if the next person that came hurtling through the Exod didn't make it one piece? She recalled how she felt in that cold black world when the communion began. She couldn't move. She felt as if she was no longer in control of her own body--as if her consciousness had been divorced from reality. It had been terrifying.

Terakiel had also put Aisen in grave danger. That man was a danger to both of them. It wasn't necessarily his fault, but. . .

Casnie did not want to abandon him but it seemed like it might be her only option. She desperately hoped she could find a better way. A poor fate had befallen that man--and although he had made a grave mistake, he did not strike her as a villain. She hoped there was a way to resolve all of this.

She quickened her pace in an effort to put distance between her and the two men. Suddenly, she did not feel up to conversation.

Dream is Collapsing (Day 131)

"I'm awake, I'm awake," Aisen muttered, although he seemed to lack confidence in his words.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Terakiel asked.

He nodded. "Is the ledge safe?"

"That's exactly what I'm about to find out," Casnie announced, striding over to the jagged hole in the cavern wall. "I'm the lightest, you see. I'll test it out for us."

Aisen grunted and kneaded his forehead as if he was in great pain. "By that logic the heaviest of us should test it first. If it holds then we know it's safe for everyone."

"Oh, that's silly," returned Casinie. "I'll get out there and see what the path is like. Once I make it a little ways down I'll be able to--catch one of you."

Her meaning was not lost on Terakiel. It was clear she would not be strong enough to catch either of the two men if they came tumbling down--but with the use of the Strand, there was no telling what she could accomplish. He supposed it made sense. At least in her case she had a reasonable level of control over her powers.

"She has already made it quite clear that we have no choice in the matter," said Terakiel. "It looks as if we have nothing else to discuss."

Aisen nodded, but his concern was noticeable. "Do be careful. You owe us nothing and you've been brought here against your will--"

"Tsk tsk," Casnie interrupted. "We have to work together here. I'm just doing what's best for the group--and I believe you know I understand the situation we're in." She cast a sidelong glance at Terakiel.

She must have felt like she had some sort of unique insight on Terakiel's situation. Although he was guilty for bringing her--and Aisen--to this place, he was grateful to have those two on his side. It was unlikely he would have been able to make it on his own for any extended period of time.

Without waiting for further discussion, Canie contorted her body in such a way that she could poke her leg through the hole in the wall. With a decidedly unfeminine grunt, she slithered out onto the ledge. Terakiel's breath caught in his throat for a moment as he heard the sound of her feet making impact with the rocks. For the moment, it seemed she had managed to stand upright without destroying the outside terrain--but he continued to observe with some concern.

With Aisen at his side, Terakiel peered through the hole as Casnie clambered down the ledge--more quickly than perhaps either of them would prefer. She was unexpectedly agile, her blue cloak fluttering wildly in the wind as she effortlessly made her way down the thin ledge.

"It looks like it might be safe," Aisen remarked.

The shirtless man did not reply. He was attempting to keep his eyes focused on the distant figure; she was now almost completely obscured.

"Should we follow?"

"Let's wait until she calls up to us," Terakiel suggested.

Aisen scoffed. "I'm not so sure I enjoy that idea after what just transpired."

Terakiel shot the other man a guilty look. "I--I apologize for what happened back there. After a certain point I was unable to turn back."

"I understand, but it's possible the situation here is similar. I think I may go on after her."

Aisen was probably right. Casnie seemed not to have had any problems making it down. In fact, she had positively sprinted down the ledge with reckless abandon. Though Aisen was likely slightly heavier than the woman, it was safe to assume he'd be able to make it as well.

"Very well. I will follow after you have made it a ways down."

The blonde man nodded and immediately set to pulling himself through the cavern hole. His attempt was somewhat less graceful than Casnie's, but with some effort he managed to tumble through. He crawled out onto the ledge, his feet still dangling from the cavern hole. After a moment of struggling, he wriggled all the way out and rose to his feet, flashing Terakiel a determined look as he did so.

"Be careful. I don't expect you to replicate Casnie's acrobatics."

"Do not worry. I hadn't intended to."

Mass Destruction (Day 130)

The first day of the League of Legends Battle of the Atlantic is taking place today. It's an international tournament pitting North American pro teams against European pro teams. Other than a cash prize, there's not a ton on the line in these matches--some of the pros consider them little more than glorified show matches. However, there is an issue of pride because European teams have traditionally been considered stronger overall.

Dignitas versus the newly formed Evil Geniues (now called Alliance) took place today. Krepo, Snoopeh, and Yellowpete have departed to North America, forming a new team with Innox and Pobelter in an attempt to qualify for the North American LCS--ballooning the European count in NA to six players. Wickd and Froggen stayed behind, introducing Shook, Tabzz, and Kazmitch to their roster. Dignitas is no stranger to roster swaps either--their support player Patoy is now gone, replaced by their former top laner KiWiKid. Cruzerthebruzer is now assuming top lane responsibilities.

In short, the games were a slaughter. Although Dignitas was not entirely without promise, their entire strategy was incredibly unpolished. In the first game they fielded an incredible roster of comfort champions but completely choked against Alliance's flawless teamplay. Froggen and Wickd won their lanes handily, and Shook made sure that Qtpie and KiWiKid could never even get foothold in the bottom lane. His jungle pressure on Elise was phenomenal--Crumbzz just could not keep up on his Olaf.

Although the second game was not quite as onesided, it's clear that Alliance was confident enough to play the game in a more relaxed fashion. Wickd hapilly built a Trinity Force on top lane Malphite and proceeded to win every trade with Cruzer's Shyvana. A disastrous countergank from Crumbzz's Evelynn went terribly, resulting in getting all three members involved killed in the 3v3.

Despite some impressive plays from KiWi's Karma in both games, Dignitas just looked lost. Alliance were confident and having fun in both games, laughing and smiling to each other. Scarra and co. shared somber faces and vacant stares. They were clearly not happy with their performances--and neither, I imagine, were their fans.

Sunbather (Day 129)

I've been at a loss as to what to play lately. I've lost motivation for Secret of Mana after losing save data, and Torchlight II seems nigh unconquerable alone. After some looking around, I decided to give Path of Exile a try. It's in the same genre as Torchlight and Diablo but I'd always kind of dismissed it as an inferior clone. After playing for an hour or two I can see that's not really the case.

Path of Exile puts a lot of interesting ideas on the table. Classes are functionally identical save for starting at different locations in a skill tree. These skill tree is made up of passive skills that flesh out your character. Upon leveling up, you'll be able to select new skills in the tree like Dexterity +10 or attack speed +6%. What options are available to you depend upon the class you chose. Like the Sphere Grid or Crystarium in the Final Fantasy series, you can progress along this tree in whatever way you choose, allowing you to customize your character's development.

According to the official website, the passive skill tree is enormous with thousands of skills to choose from. I've only made it up to level 8 so of course I've only seen the tiniest fraction of it.

The fact that classes are only separated by their location in the skill tree was sort o a turnoff to me at first until I played for awhile and realized the implications. As you complete quests you will be given the choice of selecting rewards. Much of the time these rewards will consist of gems that can be socketed into your equipment, much like other games in the genre. Unlike Diablo and Torchlight, these gems do not infer passive and arbitrary stat bonuses--instead, they teach your character's unique skills.

The type of skill you might learn from a gem is dependent upon its color. Green gems favor the Dexterity stat and are intended for roguelike characters. They might involve poison, traps, or melee combat. Theoretically, a spellcaster or bruiser character could learn these skills, but only if their Dexterity stat meets the requirements of the gem--a difficult task considering their location in the skill tree. Still, some gear will confer stat boosts that would allow you to learn skills you might otherwise not be able to.

The skills on these gems will level up as you do. A fraction of the experience your character gains goes toward strengthening all of these skills so long as you have them socketed into your equipment. Further sweetening the deal is the fact that you can remove and reallocate these gems at any time you please, meaning you never need to part with a skill if you don't want to. So long as you have an appropriately colored socket in a piece of your gear, you can keep that specific skill gem with you forever.

I find this design incredibly appealing. Diablo and Torchlight both offer up dozens upon dozens of different gems that augment various mundane stats. It's a nightmare to keep track of and very few gems feel impactful on their own. In Path of Exile, each gem is important because it gives you a new and unique skill.

The graphics and presentation in general are a bit rough, but the gameplay and ideas are very solid. I'll definitely be spending some more time on this game. I can't promise I'll finish it, but it seems very promising so far.

Dream House (Day 128)

I have not been feeling well since last night. My stomach has been in a lot of pain and I'm experiencing some mild nausea. I can only speculate about what's going on, but I really hope I'm not on my way to getting legitimately sick. Considering I never leave the house it seems somewhat unlikely, but stranger things have happened. Regardless of the truth of my condition, I haven't felt like doing much of anything today. I've found it very difficult to focus.

I considering resuming my playthrough of Secret of Mana but after losing so much progress I'm dreading doing so. I played some Torchlight II but grew frustrated at the massive hordes of enemies chewing me to pieces--and it's not kind to my PC's performance, either. I tried Ys I + II Chronicles briefly but was not impressed with it. I intend to play some games in that series but that particular title most likely isn't a good place to start.

I still want to continue playing Persona 2 but it's been awhile since I last played it. The audio glitches were annoying but not necessarily a dealbreaker. Suffice to say I don't particularly feel like doing anything at all at the moment. I genuinely hope that I'll feel better tomorrow.

What else... I finished up season 3 of The Walking Dead. I'm starting to lose interest in the series somewhat. I feel like the promise the series showed in the first season hasn't really been fulfilled--which is not to say that it's a bad series by any means, but it could have certainly been better. I haven't read the comics, but I would have liked to see the dynamic between Rick and Shane explored in more detail--and I would have liked more backstory on characters like Dale and Jim.

After season 4 finishes up, I might look into reading the graphic novel. I'm not sure where I would find it, but it seems like it might be an interesting read. I don't read many traditional comics but I don't necessarily have anything against the medium. I'd like to read Scott Pilgrim at some point as well.

Airbrushed (Day 127)

I lost a ton of Secret of Mana progress because my laptop restarted in the middle of the night. Even though I had been saving frequently, ZSNES reverted to a much older save for reasons too complicated to go into here. Suffice it to say that it is very irritating, especially considering how determined I was to finish the game. There is still hope, however. If I can find someone to play the multiplayer with me, I'll have renewed interest in the game and will even start it over from scratch if that person so desires. Until that point, I'll probably have to put the game on hold--and Seiken Densetsu 3 with it.

In the meantime, I'm investigating a few Steam games I haven't played in some time. After fiddling with my PC settings to get PS2 games to run more smoothly, I've discovered that well, pretty much everything runs more smoothly than before. This includes such games as Orcs Must Die!, Audiosurf, and Torchlight II. I've finished both Orcs Must Die! titles and played them both to death. They're fantastic twists on the tower defense genre with extremely high production value and excellent gameplay. Audiosurf is a well-known Steam classic that allows you to use mp3s from your music library as levels in a puzzle/rhythm game hybrid. Torchlight II is another game in the popular PC action RPG genre that includes such classics as Diablo II.

I would have completed Torchlight II a very long time ago if I hadn't committed to playing it on Elite difficulty. It's a pretty good game, but I feel I don't enjoy it well enough to invest the amount of effort required to grind through such a hard difficulty. I also find optimizing gear in these lootfests to be a chore. Comparing two pieces of gear for the same slot is an exercise in tedium--do I want 9% life steal, 4% attack speed, or 13 armor stolen on hit? How could I possibly calculate which of those stats are most useful to me in a timely fashion? It's muddled and convoluted.

Suppose I find a piece of armor that is a +20 armor upgrade but a significant drop in DPS? When is it worth it to make the change? What if a piece of gear is a massive upgrade but has no gem slots--whereas the piece I'm wearing has 2 or 3? I understand these kinds of decisions are exactly the kind of thing some gamers are looking for and it only enriches the experience for them--but that's not me. I'd much rather work with a simplified gear system with streamlined stats. Alternatively, stats would be more random but you have the option to reforge stats for optimum distribution.

None of that stuff would matter that much if I wasn't playing on Elite difficulty. It's important that you have the best possible gear you can find and the best possible skill setup, or you will be dying painfully--over and over. You're left with little room for experimentation. It's not a fair criticism of the game at all because it's an optional difficulty level for players that want extra challenge--but it's only resulted in me being in over my head and I'm too stubborn to go back now.

The Sunleth Waterscape (Day 126)

My initial impressions of Secret of Mana were not positive. I'm capable of enjoying games that aren't from my preferred genre, but a number of flaws jumped out at me almost immediately.

The plot is skeletal and mildly confusing but I can forgive that because I hear it's poorly translated and summarized from the original Japanese--and let's be honest, you're probably not playing a game like this because of the storyline. It's about mowing down enemies and tackling bosses above all else. However, the combat can be a little clumsy and unsatisfying.

I do like the idea of charging up your attacks to unleash more powerful versions of your basic attack. As you gain levels and upgrade your weapons, you gain the ability to charge your weapons to new levels. So far I've acquired the ability to charge up to level 4, which takes quite awhile. Once you spend four or five seconds charging your weapon, you're not guaranteed to actually hit your opponent, which can be frustrating. Enemies are typically knocked down after being attacked, at which point they are untargetable. It makes the combat rather slow-paced and frustrating at times.

Your allies have access to a wide variety of magic. The female ally has support magic and the sprite has offensive magic. These spells are tied to elemental creatures that you gain access to as you progress through the game, such as Undine, Gnome, and Lumina. This reminds me a lot of the Tales series, although the creatures are summoned directly in those games. Most of the spells are pretty cool and can be easily cast from the game's targeting ring by pressing X. Most of the boss battles seem to be easily conquered by spamming all of the Sprite's spells until he runs out of MP, which is a little problematic.

I'm not even close to done with the game yet--it seems like it could be quite long for an SNES game. It is a flawed but not entirely unenjoyable game. Honestly, I think I'll enjoy Seiken Densetsu 3 more but I'm definitely going to finish this one. It's a classic game that hasn't really aged well. The soundtrack, at least, is pretty solid.

Osterbotten (Day 125)

Terakiel was weary all the way down to his bones. There was little time for rest--and even if there was, he and his companions had no desire to stay in that damp cave for a moment longer. Aisen had finally awoken only a few minutes before. He was still blinking to banish the sleep from his eyes. Once he had acclimated himself to the light level in the cavern he imagined they'd depart. As precarious a perch the ledge outside the cavern was, it was their only option.

"Listen, Terakiel." Casnie's voice was level, determined. They'd only known each other for the span of the hour and had spent a great deal of that time waiting for Aisen to rise. Already he could tell that she was a headstrong young woman. Not everyone would act as she had been given her circumstances.

"I'm listening. . ." Terakiel ventured. "What is it?"

"You know as well as I do that we have to navigate that ledge outside."

"Of course," replied Terakiel as Aisen moaned, still half-asleep.

"Well. . .we can't see very far from here and it would be unwise to put all of our weight on it at once."

"That's true," agreed Terakiel. He could tell where this was going.

"I'm the lightest of us three. I think I should scout ahead and figure out the path. I'll see if it's safe."

"And if it's not?"

She shrugged, but flashed a grin at the same time. "We'll figure something out. We--I'm a Strander. We have other options."

Terakiel grimaced. She was a Strander. She was capable of wielding that same terrible power, but she was able to control it, to use it constructively. He couldn't quite decide if that was more unsettling than the alternative. It meant she was completely prepared to tap into the Strand when need be. She did not fear it like he did. Maybe she should.

"I would prefer. . . if it did not come to that."

"Of course. f I will do everything I can to secure a safe path."

Terakiel sighed, brushing aside a lock of his grimy red hair. In truth, he was grateful for what this young woman was willing to do for the group. After all, it was in her best interests as well. It was unlikely she knew how to survive out in the wilderness so it was only reasonable for her to make sure that her companions were safe as well.

She's a Strander. She could probably take care of herself much better than I think. He could only guess at what things she might be capable of. After witnessing the havoc that he had wreaked on walls of solid rock without any clear idea of how to wield his powers. . . A disciplined Strander could probably do that and more. That's who he was putting his trust in. A woman who could likely kill him faster than he could blink. How could he be sure of her true motivations?

He considered for a moment everything that had happened over the past several days. His life had entered into a new phase. His father was dead and gone and so too was his old life. He would never see Tombolin again. He might well die out here in the vast Lakaran forest. Meanwhile, he'd summoned two traveling companions just when he needed them most. Aisen had brought with him much needed food. Casnie was a Strander which would inevitably bring with it a slew of benefits.

It all seemed so fortuitous he could scarcely believe it. If things had progressed as he had imagined he'd probably be dead. However, here he was in a cave with two new companions that wanted to do nothing more than help him. They seemed scared, but not to the degree that would seem appropriate for young men and women torn from their lives and deposited into an unfamiliar wilderness.

Just what is happening here? These things could not have happened by chance. Aisen and Casnie, the planar stones, the very fact that he was, against all odds, still alive--it meant something. He couldn't even begin to imagine why things had happened as they did, but he had a strange feeling that he was going to find out sooner or later.

"Terakiel? Is there something wrong?"

"No. It's nothing."

Casnie pursed her lips and rested her head on her clenched fist. "Very well. . . What do you think of my plan, then?"

"I would rather not put you in danger," Terakiel replied. "It's my fault you're here."

She scoffed, flipping her neat pale brown hair around as she shook her head in frustration. "I can take care of myself. Listen, we've just met. Despite our. . .bond--you don't know me very well. I'm looking out for you, too. I'm the lightest. This makes sense. Let me do this."

"In the end, it's not up to me, is it?" Terakiel sighed, eyes cast downward.

"Nope," she announced cheerfully. "Once Ol' Sleepyhead here is alert, I'll fill him in and we'll start. It'll be nice to get some fresh air."

Back to Chapel Town (Day 124)

You know, I've never been the biggest fan of zombies. There's been rabid fascination with zombies in the past few years. Everyone seems to salivate for any movie, video game, or TV series that has anything to do with undead creatures rising to feast on the brains of the living. For me, I feel like it's a really tired trope. Zombies are disposable villains that viewers seldom feel uncomfortable about when they are slaughtered en masse. They're perfect fodder, just like aliens or robots in science fiction settings.

Despite this, I decided to give The Walking Dead a try. The show has been inundated with hype by a lot of people I know but I couldn't tell you what kind of critical reception it's received. I'll be investigating that after I finish the series--because as loathe as I am to admit it, I've been enjoying it. It's not Shakespeare, and it's certainly worlds away from AMC's other hit series Breaking Bad, but it is enjoyable. What makes it stick out to me is that it's not really about the zombies.

Sure, there's plenty of stylized zombie violence on this show. A warrior woman with a katana slices heads off in one smooth motion. A grizzled redneck fires crossbow bolts directly through eye sockets--only to retrieve the precious missiles because ammunition is so hard to come by. Guns are employed frequently despite the danger of their use (the noise attracts other zombies--walkers as the show's mythology calls them). A lot of time is invested in showing off some admittedly slick zombie action.

Despite all that, it's not just a show for zombie fanatics. Like I said, I'm not a fan of the genre. Aside from Shaun of the Dead, I've never watched a single zombie flick. I find the concept vaguely interesting from a theoretical standpoint but horror's never been my genre. The Walking Dead has it's scary moments and plenty of intense, action-packed ones. Beyond all that, however, is a show about characters. It reminds me of Lost in that it's about a ragtag group of mostly normal people banding together in an attempt to survive.

I've only watched the first two seasons so far and although there are notable flaws in the presentation, I've truly enjoyed it. One of the most interesting aspects for me is just how spot on a few of the characters' southern mannerisms are. I live in rural Kentucky, so I can certainly spot authenticity when I see it. Shane and Daryl in particular are pretty much amalgams of a lot of different people I've known over the years. It's possible both have southern backgrounds to assist with their portrayals but if not then its doubly impressive. The portrayal of Rick is impressive mostly because I've heard Andrew Lincoln is British. Learning an authentic American accent is difficult enough, but affecting a certain dialect is all the more challenging.

Marching to the Heartbeats (Day 123)

There was an awkward silence. Terakiel was completely unwilling to talk about the Strand, especially with someone who could very well have sensitive information about his past. Not only was he reluctant to give in and accept the nature of his powers--but he was wary of what uncomfortable topics they might explore.

Casnie cleared her throat in an ostentatious fashion. "Ahem. Well, I suppose it might be worth considering what we should be doing next. Do you. . .think you might tell me just where we are?"

Grateful for the change of subject, Terakiel considered for a moment before responding. "We're in a cave."

"I'm afraid I'd already arrived at that conclusion myself," Casnie responded sardonically.

"I wasn't finished," Terakiel laughed. "In truth, I cannot tell you much more than that. The vast stretch of woodland ringing this mountain is known as Lakara. Despite calling it my home, much of it is not known to me."

"I suppose you weren't much for exploring when you were a child?"

"Not as such--but there's more to it than that. Lakara is--well, it might sound strange to an outsider, but there are. . .stories."

"Stories? What kind of stories?"

"No one really believes the stories to be true, but myths abound about what lurks in the depths of the forest. It is said that the town of Tombolin was founded in an effort to escape the evils of the forest's farthest reaches--although that strikes me as nonsensical. Why not found the town in another location entirely?"

"What kind of things lurk in the forest?" Casnie asked, her deep brown eyes open wide.

"Not a thing. In my opinion there's nothing strange in the forest--except for these stones, of course."

"Well, that's not so strange. Sidea is positively littered with them. I hear they are rarer in other places."

"There you have it, then. The myths are just that. They are tales crafted by storytellers--to teach lessons, I suppose. 'Don't wander into the forest alone' and so forth."

"You have made your position on these stories clear, Terakiel," muttered Casnie. "But you're not really answering my question. Tell me about these stories."

The shirtless man laughed, coughing from the strain it put on his lungs. "I'm not sure why you find it so fascinating."

"But I do!" she exclaimed. "I like to know about other cultures--and forgive me for saying so, but this traditions of yours seems rather peculiar. I think it is interesting."

"I suppose so. The legends tell of an ancient race that once inhabited the forest. Their name has been lost to time but as far back as I can remember we simply called them Lakarans."

"Is that what lurks in the forest?"

"According to the lore, the Lakarans were pulling the strings from the shadows. They were capable of conjuring beasts great and small--and these beasts were used to torment humans. Eventually, a group of humans called the First Priests found an area that seemed immune to the Lakaran influence so they decided to found the town of Tombolin there. Ever since, warnings of venturing too far beyond the clearing have been passed down through the generations."

Casnie gasped. "What if that's all true?"

"It's not true," he scoffed in reply. "I have lived all of my days in Tombolin and although I've never ventured as far afield as I have these past few days--I have spent a significant amount of time in the forest. Not once have I encountered anything unusual--unless the Lakarans are summoning deer and squirrels to torment us."

"Aw, that's no fun. Where's your imagination?"

"I just want to know what's really out there. I have such an unclear picture of what it's like beyond Tombolin."

"I am sure you will have opportunities to find out! I would be pleased to share with you anything I know, as well."

"Thank you. . .I suppose."

"After all, you can't go back to Tombolin now."

What?

"I mean, it would be too difficult to backtrack all that way," she quickly amended.

Does she know? Aisen had sensed Terakiel was running away from something. Perhaps the same was true for Casnie, but they had shared so much more in their momentary bond. It was clear she did not know the specifics or else she'd be fleeing in fear. He had to make sure their conversations did not lead in that particular direction lest she uncover the truth. He imagined her inquisitive nature would make things very difficult for him in the coming days.

The Boy Heads for the Wilderness (Day 122)

As Terakiel was staring forlornly out the jagged opening in the cavern wall, he heard stirring from behind him. The young woman moved slightly and let out a muted moan. Her exposed eye fluttered open and she immediately made eye contact. There was something in those eyes that struck him as odd. She seemed. . . sad? He wondered what important duties he might have torn her away from and felt his guilt return once more.

She rose to a seated position slowly, stretching out her long, slender arms. She let out a long, exaggerated yawn as if to say "Why yes, I did just wake up!" and locked eyes with Terakiel again. She blinked a few times, ostensibly to acclimate herself to the light level in the cavern. Her eyes were a lovely brown color, more intense than the pale brown of her fine straight hair. Her gaze was commanding; though she had not yet said a word Terakiel felt compelled to listen to what she might have to say.

Like Aisen, she was young--quite possibly even the same age as Terakiel. She was dressed in a blue blouse bound at the waist by a black sash. Around her shoulders was a darker blue cloak, the hood trailing down her back. He was uncomfortably aware of how he must look to this woman--shirtless, filthy, and covered in bruises. He crossed his arms nervously, scratching at a nonexistent itch on his elbow.

The woman cleared her throat before finally speaking. "Hello, Terakiel."

"Y-you know my name. I suppose I should not be surprised."

She hesitated before replying, as if worried what she had been rude. "I spoke with Aisen while you were resting. Although. . ."

"You knew already."

"Yes," she smiled.

"I'm so sorry for bringing you both here," Terakiel sighed. "I-I don't know why this is happening. I promise I will find a way to get you back."

The woman nodded, her smile not fading. Terakiel was taken aback by how cheerful and optimistic her demeanor was considering the circumstances. Aisen's reaction to his plight had been somewhat similar--was this kind of thing commonplace outside Lakara? Were travelers constantly being deposited at wrong destinations?

"My name is Casnie," she continued. "I was not sure if you knew."

Terakiel did not reply, but he nodded in acknowledgement.

"I-I come from Sidea. Do you know of it?"

What did she know? What had she seen through his eyes?

"It is a great city far to the south," she continued. "It is considered the premier city for Stranders in all of Illatha. . ."

She knew what he was--that much was certain. She may have discussed it with Aisen or. . .she might know for other reasons.

Seemingly unfazed by Terakiel's refusal to reply, Casnie continued. "In Sidea, those with the talent are taught discipline in the ways of the Strand. In most cases this training begins at a very young age, but I'm sure exceptions--"

"Stop."

"I am sorry if I said something to offend."

"You seem to know a lot more about me than I know about you. I'm curious as to what you have learned."

"W-well. . ." The mournful look in her eyes returned.

Terakiel sighed deeply. "I--I do not think it is the time to discuss such things."

"B-but. . "

"I have promised to deliver you back to your home--and I have made this same promise to Aisen as well. I intend to honor these promises regardless of what happens to me. It is because of me that you are both here and I should be held responsible."

"I admire your sense of duty, Terakiel, but with your lack of discipline you cannot be blamed for what strange effects result--especially in the presence of an artifact of such power." She flashed a glance at the crumbled stone in the middle of the cavern.

"I thank you for your understanding," conceded Terakiel. "We will likely have to work together to return you both to your homes. I will try to provide for you both as well as I can."

"Thank you!" Casnie exclaimed. "In return, perhaps I could teach you some of what I know about the Strand?"

Terakiel let out a ragged cough. He would prefer if he could forget about the Strand completely. If he had never awakened to those vile energies then he would not be sitting there in a damp and chilly cave, exhausted and in pain, still mourning the loss of his father. He would be living the life he had always lived--that simple life where his biggest worry was whether or not he would live up to his brother. That lofty aspiration had long since faded. He could concentrate only on being able to live with himself now.

"I don't. . .think so."

She looked disappointed. "Very well. Do not hesitate to ask if you decide otherwise in the future."

More Erosion (Day 121)

After cycling through a few games last night, I eventually, mercifully drifted off to sleep. Instead of deciding on any game I'd discussed in my previous entry, I instead decided to play none other than Secret of Mana, the Super Nintendo classic. It's actually a little surprising that I haven't finished it before considering how many classic RPGs I've played and completed in my time--but truthfully I've never been a huge fan of action RPGs.

I certainly don't hate them and in fact I welcome RPG combat systems that unshackle themselves from their traditional turn-based roots, but when it comes to wandering around aimlessly slashing rabbits I tend to lose interest. As blasphemous as it might be, I've also never considered myself a Legend of Zelda fan. I have played and enjoyed several games from the series but have always felt more connected to series like Final Fantasy and Fire Emblem.

Despite all this, I think Secret of Mana might be a nice change of pace. It's simple and easy to play--and hopefully not too long. I've put about an hour into it so far and I can already tell you that I really enjoy the graphics. The sprites make put the limited color palette to good use and manage to pack in enough detail for every character to be completely distinguishable from each other while still having unique traits. Even when playing the game at a higher resolution where pixels are more clearly visible, the sprites still look quite good--not something I can necessarily say for other games on the console.

The music is also very bright, cheerful, and catchy. I have heard some praise for Hiroki Kikuta's work in the past but I have a tendency for not listening to music from games I haven't played. Once I have finished Secret of Mana (and hopefully that does actually happen) I'll probably acquire the soundtrack and add it to my collection. I'm curious as to whether or not any arranged or orchestrated versions of music from the game exists.

Despite all this, I've certainly not given up on Innocent Sin. I'll likely still be playing it sporadically along with a few other games. My personality makes it difficult for me to play and complete games to the end despite making a push in recent years to give every worthy a game a solid attempt--so jumping around from game to game seems to be a temporary antidote to that problem.

If I do indeed make it through Secret of Mana, I intend to give Seiken Densetsu 3 another try. It's a game I played a small amount of many years ago when the fan translation was first released. I enjoyed it for what it is but at the time I had little to no interest in action RPGs. There were still so many traditional RPGs at the time that I had not tried. Even 10 years ago, I had a backlog.

SD3 is similar to its predecessor, but significantly increases the number of playable characters. As far as I know, SoM only has three, whereas SD3 has 8 or 9. Each character has a class with a choice of different promotions as they level up. The characters you choose in each run seem to have an impact on the plot as well, although admittedly I don't know a lot about it. Thinking about it now makes it sound pretty fun, though.

Corsair (Day 120)

My PS2 has been broken for a long time because I attempted to soft mod it for Japanese games. My attempt was successful but I ended up pretty much destroying the disc tray. Truth be told the console probably still works, but getting discs in and out of the tray is such a hassle that it is not even close to worth it.

So it was that when I stumbled on a low-end configurations for PCSX2, a popular PS2 emulator, I decided to give it a try. Even with onboard graphics, these new settings seem to run most games I've tried really well. My copy of Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne ran almost flawlessly with some tinkering while Digital Devil Saga runs decently well. The only caveat is that I can't have anything running in the background of the FPS slows to a crawl. Regardless, just about every PS2 game I've experimented with seems to work--although Devil May Cry worryingly crashed in the middle of combat.

I have quite a few PS2 games that I've never finished thanks to my ham-fisted mod. Some of them I'm not quite sure I actually want to finish, but I've definitely decided that I'm going to play and complete the following games in no particular order:

• Final Fantasy X

It's actually a shame that I've never played very far into this game. I'm a devoted fan of the series but I missed a huge wave of early titles because I didn't own a PS2 at the time. I had one in time for Final Fantasy XII but for some reason I never went back and finished this one. I purchased it (along with X-2) a couple years ago, but my PS2's been broken for a long time.

• Final Fantasy X-2

Same as above.

• Front Mission 5: Scars of the War

This is pretty much the whole reason I wanted to mod my PS2 in the first place. I ended up playing the fan translated Japanese game for all of 10 minutes and then I never picked it up again. Still, the gameplay looks similar to FM4 so I'm sure I'll love it. FM4 was amazing, but difficult and glacially paced. It took me years to finish.

• Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

I played the first thirty minutes of this game and was really impressed by the music and atmosphere. It's genuinely creepy. I'm actually torn on whether or not I want to go back and play the original Shin Megami Tensei on SNES. Apparently it is quite long.

• Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga (1 and 2)

I've actually played pretty far into the first game but I was playing it when my PS2 exploded. I don't relish the thought of starting over but the gameplay is pretty fun, if a little vanilla. Aside from the Persona series, this is probably the most traditional RPG that Shin Megami Tensei has to offer.

There are a few other titles that I'm not sure about yet, like Kingdom Hearts I + II, Suikoden 3, 4, and 5, etc. I'm already making quite the backlog for myself and I'm still playing Innocent Sin. Usually when stuff like this happens I just end up finishing nothing at all. Will report back tomorrow if I decide anything. I think I'll swap back and forth between games today.