Daylight (Day 24)

Welp, I've got a nice four-day stretch of free time to look forward to. Apparently I'm going to be working at a different store than usual next week (one I've never been to) but it will result in me getting slightly more hours. I think it would be in my best interests to try to regulate my sleep schedule, but my attempt to do so last night was a gigantic failure. I went to bed at around midnight and intended to fall asleep by about 2 AM. After lying still for an interminable period of time I gave up completely and ended up staying up until 8. Drinking three energy drinks at work that day probably did me no favors in that regard.

So here's what I'm going to do over the next few days.

• Keep running/walking every night, trying to get a little more distance each time. 
• Finish up all of the storylines in Katawa Shoujo. 
• Finish Baldur's Gate II...? (This one's a big maybe)
• Keep writing these entries!

I think routines are important. For very significant chunks of my life I haven't done any planning and just sort of took things as they came. There is some benefit to this way of thinking, but more often that not it results in not much of anything getting done. But it's more than that, routines help give me a sense of purpose. I know I want to be creative so I write every day. I know I want to get in shape so I run every night. It's so simple I don't know why it hasn't occurred to me before. It's more than just laziness--it's like oblivion. So rarely do I have that clarity of thought to just pursue the obvious. I'm getting better, though. I know that. 

I have dealt with some pretty hardcore self-loathing in the past. I felt hopeless, like I would never figure out how to be comfortable with myself or to make myself better. But I think the answer for me might just be really simple. I can't expect to change overnight, of course. That's silly. Just taking strides to improve, to become what I want to be improves my mood immeasurably. I'm not having some profound, transformative experience right now--I'm just taking steps instead of idling in place. That sensation of being motionless is what really gets to me. I have to feel like I'm moving forward, even if I don't have a particular destination in mind. I don't have a five year plan, but I do have some pretty vague ambitions and a lot of short term goals. And that's far-removed from a couple years ago when I felt like the only thing I had to look forward to was not being at work, when I idly hoped things would improve but didn't feel like effecting a change myself.

These entries are important to chronicle my thoughts at a particular time in my life. It's important for me to remember how I was feeling at certain times, because otherwise I might legitimately forget. I forget things about myself all the time. My thoughts and ideas fade away because I never recorded them. Those thoughts are like little pieces of me that are gone forever. I need an outlet, even if what I'm writing about isn't always that important or profound. If it's something I'm interested in, whether it be my feelings, games, movies, music, or whatever, it's worth writing about. It's important for me to look back and prevent myself from repeating mistakes, or to realize what I'm passionate about when I'm feeling lifeless. The benefits of this exercise are numerous and I'm glad I'm keeping up with it.

Ethica Odini (Day 23)

I've decided to start running every night and document my progress with an app called RunKeeper. I started tonight with a mile but only ran for a very small portion of it. Still, it's a start and I felt really good after I was done. I'm hoping to keep this going for quite awhile, just as I've managed to continue updating this blog. I think my obsessive tendencies are helpful in maintaining routines like these.

I really do want to be in better shape, not just because I want to look better (though that's certainly part of it) but because I want to be healthier, and have more energy. Just from walking/running tonight, my attitude and energy levels are vastly improved. I don't feel miserable or lethargic as I usually do after a day at work. I feel like only good can come of this, so I really hope I can stick to it. I don't work for at least the next two days, and possibly not even on Sunday either. With all of this free time, I need to make sure that I'm not just lounging around the house getting no activity.

The past few days haven't been great for my state of mind. I've been morose and restless, with multiple worries nagging at my subconscious. There are several reasons for me to be in a bad mood, but none of them feel compelling to me. For me to be relatively happy, I need to make sure that a couple of things are happening. I need to be productive in some way creatively (hence the creation of this blog), I need to get out of the house every once in awhile, and I need some form of social interaction. Even if it's just talking to people on League of Legends, Twitter, and/or Facebook, I need to interact with folks. It'd be nice to hang out with people offline too, but sometimes that's just not in the cards.

I may not lose weight at the rate I want and I may not have the level of creative output that I aspire towards, but the most important thing is that I'm trying. I can maintain a decent mood if I know that I'm trying to get things done. I'm so tired of wasting my days staring into space. I'm more than that and I know it. I've gotta wake up.

Deep Peace (Day 22)

For the most part, I've finished all of the character subquests in Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn. A lot of them were really interesting, but others felt rushed or unfinishing. It's an amazingly engrossing game, but reading about all of the planned quests makes me wonder just how much better it could have been. I would love to know more about some of the game's more underutilized characters. Minsc, that paragon of justice and space hamsters has not a single quest associated with him. Viconia, the evil drow cleric you have the opportunity to save from execution also has no quests. There's so much potential for storytelling there.

I read that there actually were quests associated with Viconia but they were cancelled. One involved her being afflicted with lycanthropy (werewolf), which seems a little strange and possibly inappropriate to the character. Another, however, involved the drow homeland of the Underdark, which would have been much more appropriate. Granted, Viconia is one of the three romance options for a male protagonist, but that doesn't stop Aerie and Jaheira from having other quests associated with them--and Jaheira has an incredibly long string of quests to complete that flesh out her personality and history nicely. 

Including romantic interests in the game was a really nice touch--and in Jaheira's case it is implemented very effectively. Despite some bugs (which are inevitable in any computer game), Jaheira's romance storyline is well fleshed out and interesting. The other female characters can't compete with that level of complexity, but at least they are included for variety. For female players, however, you only have one option in Anomen. Anomen is a pompous good-aligned character who, although interesting in some ways, reeks of being thrown in as an afterthought. It's troubling that female players are not afforded the same opportunities.

I've heard that there were more romance options for female players during development, but they were scrapped for whatever reason. Valygar, an interesting and criminally unexplored character, was reportedly originally a romance option. Personally, I would have vastly preferred him to the alternative in Anomen--but even then, that leaves us with two good-aligned characters as romantic interests. A third evil-aligned option could have been the hilariously self-absorbed and hyper intelligent mage Edwin, whose character quest would have made the romance very... interesting. 

I've heard that there's a mod called Unfinished Business that restores a lot of scrapped quests to the game, but I'm always wary of fan-created content. For some reason I can't enjoy myself as much when I feel like I'm not getting the "authentic" experience. 

Sleep (Day 21)

Even though I strive to be an emotionally expressive person, I still often have a lot of trouble showing emotion. It's still there, of course, and I acknowledge it and accept it completely, but there's definitely a part of me that is very reluctant to show that to others. In some very irrational way I'm afraid of my emotions being "wrong" or unfounded, not genuine. I doubt my self so much sometimes that I dismiss my emotions and tell myself that there's no use in getting upset or even moved over something so trivial.

Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel game created by a group of people from 4chan and other websites collaborating over the internet. I'll be the first to tell you that its origins are less than encouraging for me. I've never played a game like it before, but I've always associated visual novels (and especially those dealing specifically with relationships) to be little more than glorified pornography. However, this is not Katawa Shoujo. Though it does contain some awkward and less than titillating animated nudity, Katawa Shoujo is a game about genuine relationships. I was so convinced by the protagonist Hisao's developing relationship with Emi that the idea of replaying it to experiment with different story paths is painful to me. Their story together was adorable, relatable, heartbreaking, and wonderful. And it moved me.

I can't decide how I feel about it as a whole. The art is a little sloppy at times although the music is actually really varied and nice.  I still feel like the nudity is unnecessary and ruins my immersion, but I guess that could just be a personal hangup of mine. I doubt I'd say the same about a live action film, although it is worth noting that explicitly described sex in prose tends to rustle my jimmies, so that could definitely be part of it. 

I suppose I will have to eventually play through the other storylines (as utterly wrong as that seems) to get more of a feel for the game. It's possible the writing is more inconsistent than I imagined. There were a few lines that seemed suspect along the way, but I was impressed with the quality of the overall package. The game seems to have received a pretty positive reception overall, though a few dissenters have dismissed the prose as "bad." I could maybe see where they're coming from, but we have to consider the story is told from the perspective of a teenager... who is actually incredibly intelligent so maybe that's not really a fair point.

Peaches en Regalia (Day 20)

I found out today that I'm going to have weekends off and will likely be scheduled an average of 20 hours a week from now on. Instead of moping about how little money I'm going to have, I feel I should treat this as an opportunity to pursue some creative endeavors. I have been planning since starting this exercise to periodically write some creative blurbs or fictional scenes involving some of my old characters. So far this hasn't happened. A couple of months ago I typed out a pretty long document discussing some of the characters I've created over the years. Despite a lot of them having some pretty terrible names (Tommy, Timmy, etc), I felt like there was something salvageable there. I still care about those characters in a way.

Of course, the main character that always springs to mind is Dalkaen. I've used the name as my own on message boards, League of Legends, Twitter, and just about everywhere else on the internet for years and years. The only other names I've used are Alec Figaro (a reference to Final Fantasy VI, a game I'd very much like to discuss here someday) and Terakiel, which is still just a reference to Dalkaen anyway. I wrote and rewrote many stories about this character, but he never solidified into something that was really human. He was a mishmash of ideas and my own thoughts and attitudes about the world around me. He was emotionally dead, as I often felt myself to be. This, of course, turned out not to be true.

As a teenager I was absolutely fascinated and engrossed by high fantasy--both literature and video games. As mentioned previously on this blog I was never a D&D player, but I still loved dwarves and trolls and goblins. I read a lot of novels from the Forgotten Realms campaign setting, most of which I've forgotten by now. R. A. Salvatore, however, wrote incredibly visceral battle scenes that teenage me responded to. I was fascinated by violence in a way that I guess I find a little disturbing now. When I wrote my own fantasy stories then, I would try to emulate that brutality. Every story would start in the middle of a fight and every important plot point involved violence in some way. I really skimped on interpersonal relationships between my characters. It was like I was trying to write episodes of Dragon Ball Z.

Don't get me wrong. War and fighting are pretty darn important in fantasy stories and if I wrote something like that they definitely would not be absent. But that would not be my primary focus. I don't think I want to write "high" fantasy anyway. Sure, my story isn't going to take place in the real world and non-humans will play an integral role, but I'd much rather stray from a lot of the established tropes. I understand how difficult it is to write something original these days but that's not really what I'm looking for either. I just want to write characters that I--and subsequently the reader--care about.

So who is Dalkaen? Well, it depends on which version of the story you read, I guess. He's a sorcerer or mage of some kind, but he's not some practiced spellcaster who reads incantations from books. No, his power is much more primal, much rawer than that. Its something that comes directly from his blood and it is terrifying. It threatens to engulf him if he is not careful. It's sort of like the Hulk, I guess. If you don't keep your composure you are a danger to those around you. As it turns out, Dalkaen was a danger to his family, more specifically his father. In many versions of the story, Dalkaen is responsible for his father's death as a young man, possibly just shy of his teenage years.

How does one recover from that? I'm not sure I'm emotionally mature enough to make a good judgment there. It would do me some good to do my research on how children respond to extreme trauma. The Showtime series Dexter would have you believe that witnessing a violent death at such a young age provokes dark urges that must be kept in check. I wonder just how big a part that kind of guilt can play in the formation of a man.

Earth Day (Day 19)

Sometimes typing words down is a very hard thing to do! I'm almost three weeks into this exercise and it can still be really hard for me to organize my thoughts and present them effectively. I keep trying to figure out ways to focus but it occurs to me that I'm not actually trying much of anything. I successfully got some sleep last night but in all honesty it didn't seem to help much. Its 2 AM now and I haven't done much of anything. I wanted to make some more progress on BGII. Didn't happen. I wanted to do some writing. Also didn't happen. I did manage to play some League of Legends ranked games earlier and won both of them, so I accomplished...something.

The smart call is to take a shower right now and go to sleep so I don't feel the need to chug energy drinks all day tomorrow at work. I seldom go for the smart call, though, and I imagine I won't be in bed until at least 6 AM--which gives me just enough time to get about four hours of sleep. I place a lot of value on my free time because I imagine there are all these things I could spend it doing--but I so very often run out of motivation to do these things. Is this just what depression is? I'm not particularly unhappy right now. I'm feeling better than I have in quite some time, actually. Things could certainly be better, but I have a job and I'm getting things done. Some days are just so much harder than others, though, and I don't know what to do to rectify that.

How does one feel energized and ready to take on the day? Do you just get up and force yourself to get moving? Is it like when you force yourself to smile and it makes you slightly happier than if you hadn't? Hell, that kind of works for me, so maybe that's what I need to do. There are so many things that I need to do. I need to figure out what I really want to do with my life and decide how I should get there. What seems more important to me now is figuring out just how to be happy with myself. I feel like I can't truly function in society until that happens.

I'm definitely not a big picture kind of guy. I have to break things down into much smaller pieces and organize them in a way that makes sense to me. "How do I be happy" is too complex a question for me, so I start with small, superficial things. I'd be more comfortable if my bedroom was clean. Done! I dread getting up in the morning and showering, so I should start showering at night. Done! I have such a hard time motivating myself to write even though I'd like to do nothing more, so maybe I should force myself to write every day, regardless of content!

Done.

Vampira (Day 18)

I am most definitely going to have to find a way to get more sleep. I cleaned my bedroom last night and that actually seems to be a step in the right direction. As it turns out I'm pretty uncomfortable sleeping when surrounded by filth! Of course, the major issue is that my current living situation is confined to this bedroom. I do everything here. It's where I play games, watch Netflix, and it's where I eat. Associating all of that with "the place where I sleep" is harmful to getting rest. Still, there's not a whole lot I can do about it right now unless I decide to start sleeping on the couch in the next room. There's a good chance I'll experiment with some kind of sleep aid soon, but I keep forgetting to do so.

Sleep is so important for memory and concentration so it's no surprise that I forget everything and can seldom focus. I really want to get more serious about getting more sleep because it's really taking a toll on my mental state. I want to be able to write these entries every day and feel good about doing it. I have a lot of ideas floating around but I'm so tired most of the time that it's hard for me to organize my thoughts in an effective way! 

It's 12:34 AM right now and I got off a 10 hour shift at around 9:15 PM. The night before, I got two or less hours of sleep. It's safe to say I'm tired, but instead of lying down and getting much needed rest immediately, I decided to dick around on the internet, listen to music, and watch George Carlin standup on Netflix. Well, it stops here. I'm going to lie down now and make a legitimate effort to go to sleep. I haven't woken up rested and refreshed in weeks and it would be a really nice thing to happen.

All Hail the New Flesh (Day 17)

I've come down to a pretty solid first draft for my W/B Extort deck and have tested it a few times against a friend. I still haven't ordered any physical cards, but I have been using OCTGN to run tests. Here is my current decklist.

• Thrull Parasite x4
• Basilica Screecher x4
• Crypt Ghast x4 
• Syndic of Tithes x4
• Tithe Drinker x4
• Banisher Priest x4 
• Celestial Flare x4
• Imposing Sovereign x4
• Obzedat, Ghost Council x3
• Pontiff of Blight x3
• Swamp x9 
• Plains x9
• Vault of the Archangel x4

My first few test runs have indicated a problem with my mana base. I have a two color deck with all single color lands. This might not be an issue if I didn't have several cards with WW or BB in the mana cost. Obzedat, Ghost Council is the largest offender since it costs 1WWBB. I'm definitely going to have to include some dual lands--preferably the less expensive variants. I don't think I'm quite ready to drop $7 for singles right now. It looks like my main options are Orzhov Cluestone and Orzhov Guildgate. I might go ahead and throw out one or two of my basic lands (preferably plains since I have Crypt Ghast) and put four-ofs of both of those cards. Could potentially be overkill, but that remains to be seen.

Crypt Ghast has proven to be pretty powerful, especially if I manage to draw a lot of early swamps. Banisher Priest has been invaluable, but so far Celestial Flare is underwhelming. It's rare that I have the WW needed to use the removal spell successfully but smoothing out the mana base may change that. My best case scenario win condition for this deck involves laying down Pontiff of Blight with Crypt Ghast out. On the next turn, I'll put down a cheap creature (like Thrull Parasite) and pay for all of my Extort triggers with black mana followed by an all-in attack if need be. If this is my primary win condition, I wonder if Vault of the Archangel is even needed. I imagined it would be a good alternate win condition (deathtouch and lifelink to all creatures for four mana) but it doesn't seem very impressive with all of the low power creatures in my deck.

Truth (Day 16)

I figured I'd take some time to briefly talk about what games I'm playing and which I plan to play soon. My plans very often change, of course, so none of this is set in stone. A few months ago I planned to play through a lot of the Tales series in marathon fashion and that didn't even come close to happening, despite finishing the PSX version of Tales of Phantasia (which was quite good). On the other hand, I made plans to play through the entire classic Mega Man series and followed through pretty admirably, stumbling only on the tough-as-nails Rockman & Forte. My attention span is a very fickle thing.

Of course, right now I'm playing Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn and recently finished its predecessor Baldur's Gate, even making sure to finish all of the content exclusive to its expansion, Tales of the Sword Coast. I'm being very completionist about this particular playthrough (and will continue to do so into BGII: Throne of Bhaal) so I expect to write a lot more about it in the future, hopefully leading up to a full-fledged review once I've completed it. It's an important game to me and deserves coverage on this blog.

I also just started a downloadable PC game called Katawa Shojo, a "visual novel" with one of the strangest premises I've encountered. I think the only other game I've ever played in the genre was Radical Dreamers, which I barely remember since I only played it very briefly. I might even be wrong in classifying it as a visual novel--but regardless, Katawa Shojo seems pretty interesting so far. After doing my research, it seems to be held in high esteem by a relatively broad spectrum of gamers. I was worried initially that it was some kind of fetishistic porn game, but that certainly doesn't seem to be the case thus far. Despite the questionable title (it translates literally to "Cripple Girls"), it seems to treat the disabled people in the story with a lot of respect--something that is important since the focus of the game is on the protagonist Hisao's relationships with these girls.

I'm also playing Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time. I loved the first game and happily paid $20 for it when it was released. PVZ2 has very similar gameplay with a series of improvements that you would expect from a sequel--except that it is an iPhone exclusive (for now) and it's free. I would have not hesitated in paying full price for the game, and I almost wish they'd gone that route instead since the other option we're left with is microtransactions. There are optional plants (towers) and upgrades that can only be purchased with real money. Admittedly, the game is completely playable and has an acceptable level of difficulty without purchasing a single thing, but the very fact that these microtransactions are there is disconcerting to me. I'd much rather pay a flat fee and have access to all of the game's content right away. Only time will tell if I decide to pursue any of the game's downloadable content. For now I'm going to try to play through it with only the plants and upgrades unlocked through normal gameplay.

Advance Wars: Dual Strike is still listed in my Now Playing on Backloggery but truthfully I haven't touched it since I downloaded PVZ2. I'm not going to forget about it, though; I've put off resuming it for way too long already. I really enjoy the series but I'm not particularly good at them. Some missions are extraordinarily tough and time-consuming for me. I can't tell you how long it took me to finish the first two. Still, I'll definitely finish Dual Strike (probably months for now) and then go on to Advance Wars: Days of Ruin, which I've owned for years without playing.

At a certain point in my life, I bought new games constantly with every intention of playing them soon. I'd pick them up and play them for an hour or two and then put them down, not touching them again for months or even years. This is why I own so many PS2 games and why so many of them lay on my shelf, unfinished. Many of them deserve to be played and finished (and written about!) but with my PS2 currently in a state of disrepair, who knows when I'll get to them. For now, I'm periodically hacking away at my Nintendo DS backlog, which I honestly have a pretty good completion rate with. After I finish those two Advance Wars games, I'd like to finish up Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (in preparation for Dream Team) and The World Ends With You. They're both good games, and I have no good reason for not finishing either!

As far as non-portable plans go, I still plan on soldiering on through the Infinity Engine games. I'm so engrossed in Baldur's Gate II at this point that there's no way I'm not finishing that. I've completed Shadows of Amn countless times, but for some reason I never made it all the way through Throne of Bhaal. After I've done that, I'll have to decide where I want to play Icewind Dale or Planescape: Torment. The latter is definitely the more important game--it is repeatedly cited as an example of excellent plot and characters. I've tried to play it a few times but lacked focus in every case. It will be played, but there's at least a reasonable chance that I'll prefer to play the more combat-heavy Icewind Dale first. Playing BGII has put ideas in my head for experimenting with the huge variety of classes that AD&D had to offer.

I even have distant plans of playing both Neverwinter Nights games and giving Dragon Age: Origins another chance. Sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day--but then I suppose a better wish would be for more focus, since I tend to easily lose interest even when the game I'm playing is excellent.

The Last Baron (Day 15)

I watched It's a Disaster last night on Netflix. It had David Cross in it so I figured I'd give it a shot. Cross was good but pretty understated--and his character was not what he seemed to be initially. The only other actor I was familiar with was Julia Stiles, whose work I'm mostly indifferent to. She was passable in Dexter and she did a fine job here. The film is a comedy, though a particularly dark one; it explores the idea of what would happen if a group of people at a party suddenly discovered that something catastrophic was happening and that they were all going to die within hours. Their reactions aren't quite what you'd expect.

Although there is an undercurrent of panic, everyone seems to fall back into their familiar patterns. They sing and dance, and try to enjoy what is ostensibly their final hours. Remember, I said this was a comedy--there is still the awkwardness of David Cross's character meeting a new group of people and of the hosts' announcement of their divorce. Infidelity comes to light and there is conflict. Somehow all of this still seems important even when death is looming for them all.

It was definitely an interesting film that was worth a watch, though I can't see myself revisiting it anytime soon. Deserving of 3/4 stars for sure.

White Cyclosa (Day 14)

I haven't been playing Baldur's Gate II nearly as often as I'd like. It's not due to a lack of free time either. I tend to procrastinate, even when it involves something I enjoy...and I can't really explain that, either. It's a big part of why I have such a massive backlog of games left to complete. Sure, sometimes I just decide I don't enjoy the game enough to finish it, but in many cases I really like the game I'm playing and just lose focus for some reason. This was the case for Persona 4, a JRPG that I could count among my favorites. I loved the game, but it took me over two years to finish due to a combination of a short attention span and an insanely frustrating dungeon--and I actually discussed this on this blog for one of my first entries, before the whole LoL ranked game documentation thing.

So it is that I'm playing BGII at 4 in the morning before I have to go into work at 11. It seems like it's the only time I have the motivation to do so! I just completed a quest to stamp out a dangerous underground cult worshiping a blind beholder. I grabbed Anomen and Keldorn to help me complete it and thereafter tackled some of their personal quests. Keldorn's wife has been unfaithful and he required my advice (because apparently that was completely my business) whereas Anomen's sister was allegedly murdered. I was responsible for mediating a dispute between him and his father--again, completely my business. I'll have to hang on to Anomen for quite awhile since his final quest requires that he be level 15. After that I'll most likely ditch him since he doesn't really fit my plan.

I encountered a shady wizard in the sewers who sent me on a quest to retrieve a mirror from his escaped imp. After doing so, he entrusted to me his slave, a mysterious Tiefling (whatever that is) by the name of Haer'Dalis. I sent him on his way to his theater company, but he requested that I grab a gem that was important to him--located in the wizard's abode. After I deliver the gem to him and complete the quest that follows, I'll probably keep Haer'Dalis in my party for awhile. Since I'm done with Keldorn, he seems the obvious one to replace. Even though Keldorn is powerful, he'd come into heavy conflict with some of the other party members I want to experiment with--such as Korgan, Viconia, and Edwin.

I'm actually starting to wonder if I should keep Aerie around. Initially I chose her as the protagonist's romantic interest, but after reading about how long and complex the Jaheira romance is, I wonder if that might be the better option. That would solve my dilemma on which of the two druids in the game to use as well. Furthermore, Aerie is extremely frail, with about 1/3rd the hit points of my other characters. Since I'll have Anomen for awhile and Jaheira possibly permanently, I have plenty of divine spells at my disposal. Jan, Imoen, and/or Edwin could provide me with wizard spells.

I really enjoy games that force you to make a lot of decisions and have optional content. I've spent a great deal of time exploring the city of Athkatla and tackling optional quests and there are honestly a lot more left to do. I'm sure Imoen is starting to wonder if I'll be coming to rescue her. She'll have to wait quite a bit longer, I feel.

Ima Suri Dondai (Day 13)

I'm going to order some new MTG cards soon for a B/W Orzhov-style deck. I'm still in the brainstorming stage for now, but I'd like to experiment with the Extort mechanic, which allows me to pay B/W to drain 1 life from the opponent every time I cast a spell. This mechanic is typically attached to creatures--if I have multiple Extort creatures out, I can pay B/W for each one of them to drain life on every spellcast. Given enough mana and aggressively costed spells, I can Extort for 1-2 points just about every turn in addition to attacking. The idea is to chip away at the enemy while simultaneously building up my defenses. It might be gimmicky, but I've always liked the lifesteal mechanic because it combines offense and defense. The deck is also going to be Standard-legal because I just feel like it's more fun/fair that way.

Two of my other friends are putting together some decks as well--one will be a U/G deck centering around +1/+1 counters, whereas the other will be U/R, theme yet to be decided. Here are a few of the options I'm considering for my deck.

• Cards that use the Extort mechanic
• Basilica Screecher - A very efficient two-drop with Flying. 
• Blind Obedience - A cheap enchantment that will shut down opposing creatures/artifacts unless removed.
• Crypt Ghast - Very very strong for monoblack though I'm not sure its a good fit in this W/B deck. Might just be strong enough to take regardless--definitely a strong choice if I go heavy on black.
• Kingpin's Pet - Another relatively cheap flyer, though it requires both W and B. May not necessarily be worth a spot depending on my other options.
• Pontiff of Blight - Interesting as a win condition since it gives every other creature an extra instance of Extort though definitely not the most aggressive option. At 4BB it's very costly. Could be interesting as a one or two-of.
• Syndic of Tithes - A standard white 2/2 with Extort. Could be an option if I need more creatures in that mana range. 
• Thrull Parasite - Although his activated ability is situational, may very well be a mandatory inclusion due to needing a few one-drops to smooth out the mana curve.
• Tithe Drinker - I like this one. Two mana, Extort, and Lifelink. Reasonably strong offensively (2/1) and buffs up my defenses.
• Options for removal in Standard W/B
• Celestial Flare - Effective creature removal that bypasses some forms of protection by targeting the opposing player instead. Could be ineffective in some circumstances since it gives the opposing player the choice of what to sacrifice. Also requires WW, which could sometimes be problematic in a two color aggressive deck.
• Banisher Priest - Oblivion Ring-esque creature removal, but also requires WW and of course doesn't have Extort. 
• Triumph of Cruelty - Interesting choice. Similar to Celestial Flare, but less situational and gains me life.

The deck will definitely be creature-heavy, but I still need to think about the mana base and win conditions. Sometimes chipping away at the enemy slowly isn't going to do the trick, so I need a few cards in there that win me the game when I get to them. I'll definitely follow up on this soon.

Journeyman (Day 12)

I'm still progressing through Baldur's Gate II pretty slowly, but I'm trying to figure out how exactly I'm going to put together my party. I'm toying around with the idea of swapping various characters in and out to experience their subquests and then forming a final party once I'm done with most of them. I've read that Korgan and Mazzy have some interesting interactions, so I think I'm going to try to get them in the party. Korgan is a pretty strong fighter so he can replace Minsc. I'll go ahead and get rid of Nalia after I'm done with her subquests. I've already gone through the De'Arnise Hold and attended her father's funeral. I think there's one more thing I have to take care of with Isaea Roenall, the man she was pledged to marry and then I can be done with her.

I know that Aerie and Korgan probably hate each other, but I seriously doubt they'll come to blows considering their personalities, so that might actually be interesting to go through. I think I've decided on Aerie as the love interest for the main character, so she'll take up a slot in my final party as well. I've completed the Harper quests for Jaheira and removed her curse, so I could probably go ahead and switch her out for someone else, despite her obvious attraction to the hero--and despite how fun her constant bickering with Aerie is. The only other druid available to me is Cernd and I'm not sure I've used him before. Still, he has a quest or two to complete so there's no harm in trying him out. It would be helpful to have at least one druid in my final party because Insect Plague is a pretty handy spell.

I really want to have Jan Jansen in my party, because he's an absolutely hilarious character. I can't remember what quests are available to him, but I'm sure he has something. Even if I don't keep him for good, I'd like to travel with him for awhile, at least. I might swap him into Nalia's spot once I'm done with her--but then what about Imoen? Is she a mandatory member of the party once you rescue her from Spellhold? She doesn't have any quests specific to her, but she is a main character and features prominently in the plot. I feel like my experience might be lessened if I don't use her. Still, I imagine the game progresses reasonably well without her, since she doesn't have much of a spot in an Evil-aligned party.

 If I'm dead set on having Korgan in my party, Keldorn the paladin certainly can't be a permanent fixture. I'm almost certain that they will fight to the death if both are in the same group for too long a period of time. I might go ahead and tackle the quests involving the Cult of the Eyeless with Keldorn in my party before I decide to grab Korgan. This might also be a good time to use Anomen, who does have some interactions with Keldorn since he's an aspiring paladin. Still, neither will likely end up in my final party.

Who else could I use? Edwin is probably the strongest pure spellcaster in the game. If I could somehow Frankenstein him into the party, he would be of great use. He also has a great (and hilarious) subquest. My main character is a pure melee fighter, so having two spellcasters (the other being Aerie) wouldn't be a terrible idea. No idea how Edwin would get along with some of my other potential party members, but I think it would be pretty funny to see those interactions. Aerie, though goodhearted, isn't likely to leave the party over having to travel with a couple of disreputable folks. Mazzy considers herself some kind of bastion of justice if I remember correctly, so there might be some problems there.

Let's look at the cast of BGII and figure out which characters I'm going to use and which will become permanent:

• Aerie: Still have a quest involving her uncle Quayle at the circus tent left to complete. Currently planning her a final party member.
• Imoen: I've never been a big Imoen fan, but features heavily in the plot. Will attempt to avoid if possible.
• Keldorn: Will take on as a temporary party member for Cult of the Eyeless quest.
• Mazzy: Want to find out what kind of interactions Korgan and Mazzy have, so trying to fit her into the final party.
• Minsc: Great character who I've used both in the original and the sequel extensively, but has no subquests associated with him. Will replace him soon.
• Nalia: Almost done with subquests, will sub out soon.
• Valygar: Probably will use as a temporary party member for the Planar Sphere quests and keep him around until I find someone else to use.
• Anomen: Was thinking of grabbing him temporarily while I have Keldorn in the group, but no interest in keeping him for good. 
• Cernd: Could be a viable replacement for Jaheira. I'll have to decide if I really need a druid in the group. Could be temporary or permanent.
• Haer'Dalis: No subquests other than the quest to acquire him, but he does have some interesting interactions with Aerie. Could be a temporary party member.
• Jaheira: Will have to decide if I want Jaheira or Cernd in my final party. Done with all her subquests.
• Jan: Amazing character that I'd love to have in my final party... if possible.
• Yoshimo: For plot reasons, he can't be in my final party (until ToB). He's pretty cool, but I wouldn't have had any desire to keep him anyway, since my main character will be a dual-classed Kensai/Thief.
• Edwin: Pretty hilarious evil character that I'd like to use if I could. I'm worried about her interactions with Mazzy/Aerie.
• Korgan: He has a good subquest and is a very strong fighter. Planning to make him a part of the final party.
• Sarevok: Doesn't show up until Throne of Bhaal, at which point I might consider replacing one of my fighters. His alignment can be changed.
• Viconia: It would actually be really nice to have her in my party as she's the only pure cleric in the game and drow are cool. She's evil, though, and would definitely come into conflict with Aerie and Mazzy.

So far, I plan for my final party to be:

• Protagonist - Neutral Good Human Fighter (Kensai) / Thief
• Aerie - Lawful Good Avariel (Elf) Cleric / Mage
• Mazzy - Lawful Good Halfling Fighter
• Korgan - Chaotic Evil Dwarf Fighter (Berserker)
• ?
• ?

I just realized that totally overloads me on fighters, not that that's such a bad thing. Still, that means my last two slots should definitely be spellcasters of some kind, and it would be nice if I had a druid. Druids are neutral and unlikely to come into conflict with Korgan. One of the slots should be Jaheira or Cernd and the other should be Jan, Edwin, or Viconia. I probably don't need two clerics, so that leaves Viconia out. It would be nice to have a backup thief (Jan is a thief/illusionist) but it would also be pretty good to have a non multi-classed spellcaster in Edwin. Both of them are going to be in my party for short periods of time so I guess I'll just make my decision as I play the game.

Vital Signs (Day 11)

I miss playing Magic: the Gathering. I remember countless late nights of marathon gaming sessions, four of five of us surrounding a table in intense concentration. It was a very expensive but insanely fun hobby. At one point I was following the scene pretty closely; I knew the names of pro players and I read columns on the official Magic website every week. Before my ill-fated trip to Austin, Texas (where I stayed for four months), I sold all of my cards (for a criminally low price) and never really had the money to start building up my collection again.

I picked up some cards from Gatecrash and Dragon's Maze today and cobbled together a deck to play with some friends. It was really fun and the cards I used really got the gears in my brain turning again. I think I'm going to try to put a real deck together once I have some cash, but I worry I won't have people to play with consistently. We'll see what happens; at the very least, I know of some people I could call.

I really like this new set; I was a fan of the original Ravnica block so all the guilds are familiar to me. I used to have a blue/green Simic deck built around Murkfiend Liege way back in the day that was really fun to play. I'm looking forward to looking through the Magic card database online and coming up with ideas for decks, although I'm not particularly eager to part with the cash. It's an expensive hobby, but I'm going to try my best to purchase responsibly and do my research so I don't end up with cards I'm not going to use.

Yours Is No Disgrace (Day 10)

I don't know what's gotten into me recently, but I've been listening to Jethro Tull and Yes nonstop. This is something I haven't done in years. Maybe about five or six years ago, I listened to progressive rock regularly--and not just the big names either. I listened to more obscure stuff like Gentle Giant, Faust, and Caravan as well. Somewhere along the line, I fell out of love with the genre (the same goes for heavy metal for the most part) and started listening to more ambient and electronic music. I think in some ways I grew tired of the flamboyant and ostentatious antics of these groups and sought more downtempo, emotionally grounded music. I started to care less about complex arrangements and guitar solos and more about textures and atmosphere. Artists like Boards of Canada, Joanna Newsom, Isis, and Mogwai were among the only things I listened to.

There was an implication at the time that my musical tastes were "maturing" but my opinions have changed. I was a burgeoning musical elitist and there's certainly still traces of that in my system--but I can honestly say that I've made a lot of strides in that area. It seems silly now for me to have ever felt shame for enjoying a certain kind of music. Sure, my opinions can change. I'm definitely not into noodly prog metal bands like Dream Theater or Symphony X anymore, but I can't hold anything against someone that digs that kind of music. Guitar solos and complex, technically demanding arrangements can be really fun to listen to, but I think groups like that tend to strip all of the feeling from their compositions. Hey, I probably enjoy some groups that might be considered "prog metal" but at the end of the day I don't care about labels. If your music hits me in the gut the right way, I'm going to like it.

Still, there's something fundamentally different about a band like Dream Theater when compared to classic prog rock acts. Early Yes is just so earnest and fun. Sure, some of the compositions are really technically complex, but they're also really catchy and upbeat without being slavishly adherent to pop rock radio standards. Dream Theater just doesn't have that same genuine feeling; their compositions feel relentlessly practiced and a little soulless. Their music could be fun to listen to as a musician perhaps, but not as a simple fan of music. Rush is probably a better band to compare them to, considering they drew their primary inspiration from them. The song is the same, though--Rush is fun, catchy, and complex. James LaBrie is just not going to go down as a legendary rock singer like Geddy Lee. That's just not going to happen.

I have fancied myself a music critic in the past but the more I listen to music, the less I feel I'm qualified to comment. I have at least a passing familiarity with a lot of different music scenes throughout history but for me its so hard to quantify music in writing. I could sit here and tell you about some of my favorite songs of all time but it would be difficult to explain why they are my favorites. I think it might be an interesting exercise to look at my top 10 tracks on last.fm and figure out what themes they share. I might have to cheat a little since over half of my top 10 is the album Ys by Joanna Newsom, but then again I love that album so much it might do me some good to talk about it.

Aura (Day 9)

I have a lot of ideas for entry topics, but I think I'm going to save them for times where I feel fully invested in writing. I could talk about Breaking Bad, music, films I want to see, or games that I want to play, but I don't think I can put out quality content right now. I just have so little energy lately because I'm having so much trouble getting enough sleep. I have the ambition to write about these things but I start writing and I know it's just not flowing. These entries are exercises to warm me up to writing again, but I do want to adhere to some standards. I want to write things in an organized and cohesive way and I just don't feel like I'm up to that right now.

So, here are a few of the things I'd like to talk about in the next couple of weeks: 

• Breaking Bad (impressions on new episode(s), comparison to Dexter)
• more on Baldur's Gate II as I make progress
• games I'm looking forward to or plan on playing soon
• League of Legends and why playing it still makes me anxious sometimes
• music reviews (haven't done this in awhile!)
• Doctor Who (after I finish the rebooted series)
• I'd like to write about some of my old characters and examine them

I'm not running out of things to write about anytime soon, but motivation and mindset are both important. Let's hope that I can deliver.

Thick as a Brick (Day 8)

Updating daily is proving to be a difficult task. It turns out that I don't typically have a whole lot to say, but maybe it's good that this exercise has helped me realize that. It would probably be a good idea to spend less of my free time on things that don't engage my mind in some way. Granted, League of Legends does require strategic thinking, but I've played it so much that a lot of that is now second nature. I feel like I've reached a point of stagnation with the game where I'm not really getting any better. Granted, my skills aren't degrading, but I'm not putting a great deal of effort into improving. I can't decide if that's something I really want--I do spend a lot of time on the game, but I feel like I'd have to invest even more to become a better player. What benefit would there be in that, I wonder? Sure, there are professional players that make a lot of money doing what they do, but I think it would be silly to think that would ever be a realistic possibility. Plus, I've always had difficulty devoting myself completely to one thing--I always jump around and I always multitask. As I'm writing this entry, I have Baldur's Gate II paused in the background and I'm watching Doctor Who on another monitor.

So, that seems like something that's pretty interesting to talk about. I'm a multitasker. There are some negative consequences to this. When I have to get something done, I tend not to get it done in an extremely timely fashion because I'm probably doing a couple of different things at once. I'm not in school now, but when I was, assigned writing was a painfully slow process that very often resulted in a loss of sleep. While writing, I would be browsing the internet, maybe listening to music, watching some show, and generally having a lot of difficulty maintaining my focus. I tried a lot to just focus on the task at hand with no interruptions, but doing so felt even more punishing on my brain and I think my writing suffered for it.

I'm certain I haven't always felt this way. When I was a lot younger, writing was something I did strictly for entertainment. I'm not going to say high school ruined that for me, but I didn't have a very good time while I was there and it probably didn't help at all. I think it really fostered a negative association with writing in my mind. It was also a big part of the reason I stopped reading--something that I was doing constantly when I was younger. I would love to get back into it but I honestly don't know where to start. There are so many things that catch my attention--and perhaps most damning is the fact that multitasking while reading is pretty difficult for me. As I recall, I was never able to read while listening to music and still absorb the information. I have this obsession with absorbing content from different media and even though I have a lot of free time, I feel like I don't have the time to experience everything that I want to.

Since I have issues with becoming distracted before I finish tasks (productive or recreational), I find that its helpful to document things. For games, I have Backloggery, which keeps track of everything I'm playing, plan to play, and have completed. I also tend to take little notes and send myself emails so I remember to do things or finish up tasks I might otherwise forget. It doesn't always work (for instance, my video game backlog is enormous) but its better than not keeping track of anything at all. 

Wonderous Stories (Day 7)

Oh man, I need to write something before the day is over. I've been playing LoL all day with pretty mixed results. I've mostly just been messing around and playing casually. I feel like I should really play some BGII but that can always wait until tonight. I really do want to get back to it. Alternatively, I could get hilariously drunk. These are the decisions I'm forced to make on nights such as this. My life is an endless rollercoaster of emotions. Man, I promised myself I'd make some more substantial entries really soon, but it seems I've made a liar of myself once again. Maybe I'll do a super special entry in the wee hours of the morning. But this time that's not a promise. It's a maybe. 

Close to the Edge (Day 6)

I nearly had a serious wreck this morning, but fortunately everything went ok. Today was punctuated by bouts of extremely heavy rainfall, and there was standing water on the roads even this morning. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I lost control of my vehicle and spun around for a few seconds before coming to a stop. I'm lucky nothing else happened, but I'm still puzzled. I probably hydroplaned, but I wasn't able to get the car going until I restarted it. I would depress the foot pedal and nothing happened; I'm a bit worried that I might have damaged the vehicle in some way. I'm pretty clueless about cars so I don't even know where to begin on diagnosing the problem.

The rain only intensified by the time I left work; I could barely see five feet from my car. It doesn't help that I see in the dark very poorly either. I was apprehensive because of what had happened that morning so I drove the whole way home at a snail's pace. It may not have been necessary, but I felt like I was frequently halfway submerged in water on those country roads, so I erred on the side of caution.

I have the next two days off, so I'm hoping I'll finally have some time to sleep and recharge. I haven't been thinking clearly lately and lack of sleep seems a likely culprit. I'm going to try to make a more interesting post tomorrow because it feels like I've been phoning it in for these past few. It's really just because I've been so tired and surly. Gonna play a bunch of Baldur's Gate II and hopefully make some meaningful progress. I've also resumed playing Advance Wars: Dual Strike which I haven't touched in three years. My backlog is large and intimidating.

Done Deal (Day 5)

I'm flirting with the idea of writing some kind of fiction again. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but it would be to fun to come up with characters and write stories about them. I could revisit some old favorites, redo them and update them.. Maybe take bits and pieces from old stories and splice them together into some new monstrosity. I have a lot of past content to draw on and it sounds like a fun thing to do... Still, a lot of my old material is really "high fantasy" and I'm not sure that's exactly what I want to go for. Sure, fantasy is still a pretty compelling area for me, but I think I would definitely go a slightly different way--no elves, dwarves, or dragons. I'd rather make up my own creatures and races so I don't feel boxed in by their traditional requirements.

Sometimes (Day 4)

I have gotta do something about my shoes. My feet have just been in continuous pain the past several days at work and it's beginning to severely grate on me. The length of the shifts is completely tolerable to me, but my feet just hurt so badly. I'm tempted to start wearing my old shoes again (despite them being completely trashed) just so I can get through my work days.

Today was pretty uneventful but a thought occurred to me while I was speaking with a customer. Despite being an introvert (as discussed yesterday), I do crave human interaction. That doesn't really mean that I want to hang out with people all the time, but I love having discussions. These discussions don't even have to be in person, but I love having someone to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of. That's part of the appeal of Twitter to me, but there are only about two people that I regularly speak with. Regardless, two different customers made me think today. I was helping someone with some prepaid phone and I happened to know a lot about the subject since I used to work in Electronics at Walmart--and that's something I miss. I miss being a source of knowledge for people. I like to be able to answer questions and resolve situations. What does that say about me, exactly?

Another customer made me realize how I miss actually relating to people. Its so seldom that I have fulfilling conversations--I crave them. They sustain me and I wish it would happen more often. I have a lot of patience for discussions. If its something that interests me I'll just talk about it all day, but I never get that opportunity anymore. If I have any conversation at all, it's very brief and casual. I miss discussions that would play out over the course of an entire day when I worked at Walmart, with various co-workers. I might talk about Magic: the Gathering with one coworker, or maybe WoW with another guy I was playing with at the time. I just don't have that anymore.

I'm not sure how to fill that void. I'm sure I could find more people to talk to if I was more active on Twitter, or even reddit or League of Legends. I have my foot into a lot of different social networks, but I don't put forth the effort to make new friends. I guess I assume I don't have what it takes to sustain relationships with other human beings. I am as nourishing as a desert. I will forget to talk to people for months at a time because I am deliriously self-absorbed. I don't have any solutions to these problems right now but it's interesting to think about.

Heart of the Sunrise (Day 3)

Things didn't quite go as planned last night, but I did get to spend some time with my good friend Scott, who I haven't seen in several months. I'm an introvert, but I still definitely enjoy hanging out with friends occasionally. It's really just a different experience for me than for some other folks. I can't remember where I heard it, but I remember reading someone detailing the difference between introverts and extroverts when it comes to social interaction. They claimed that everyone unwinds or "recharges" in different ways. Extroverts tend to seek the company of others to relax and feel comfortable, whereas introverts need some time alone to achieve that same level of comfort. I find that's pretty true for me. When I hang out with someone, even if I completely enjoy the time spent with that person, I still feel the need for some time alone afterward, or I feel really uncomfortable.

I hung out with Scott until really late last night, which resulted in me staying up even later for some alone time, so here I am at 6 PM writing this entry when I only awoke an hour ago. I'm sabotaging my sleep schedule, I know, but I've long since given up on trying to wrest any real control over it. After all, I seem to perform best on low levels of sleep, even though that defies logic.

You know what? This writing exercise (as unambitious as it is) is helping me to realize something about my style. It's a little stiff and maybe a little pretentious too. This is something I've realized about my writing for a long time but never worked too hard on fixing. As weird as it sounds, I feel like I have to put forth more effort for my writing to come off as casual and light. If I'm tired of having a hard time concentrating, the effect is worse. Sentences are long, I overuse dashes and parentheticals, and I use a lot of adverbs. It's like I'm overcompensating for something. My good Twitter-buddy Dara mentioned the other day that he enjoys writing that isn't wasteful. Every word should be important and carefully considered. My language is often flowery and not very "to the point." I'm not sure I want my writing to resemble Cormac McCarthy's (his prose is a tad simple for me) but I'm sure there's a happy middleground.

Another thing I could work on is unification of theme and segues. I sometimes have difficulty figuring out where a paragraph should end and how to cycle between topics in a seamless way. In this entry, I go from talking about my personal life and rapidly shift gears to discuss my writing. That's not a big deal because this is basically an exercise, but it's something to think about for the future. 

Tired (Day 2)

My body chemistry doesn't make any sense to me sometimes. Yesterday I worked my standard 10 hour shift on only two and a half hours of sleep. Surprisingly, I made it through the entire day without any incident, and had a pretty decent energy level all day long. Last night, I got a full night's sleep and went in to work a 5 hour shift. Lo and behold, I was exhausted from the beginning to the end of my shift. It's like my body rejects the rejuvenating effects of sleep and punishes me for trying to recharge. I have no explanation for this, except maybe not eating enough lately. I get paid tonight so hopefully I'll be able to stock up (not to mention paying off my overdue bills).

I'm going to try to finish Baldur's Gate tonight and write some more impressions. I'm either going to do a quick replay after that or move on to Baldur's Gate II. Eventually I'm going to have enough money to start buying games again, but for now I'm content to replay some classics and even play some for the first time. I'm pretty bad about following through and finishing these games, but it's always pretty rewarding to do so, even if that game might not have been my favorite. I don't regret finishing Lufia or Faria recently, even though they were pretty mediocre games. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and also some perspective on games in general. 

Alright, I didn't say these entries had to be long or exhaustive. I'm just pushing myself to write a little something everyday. Today, I'm tired, so that's all I've got.

A New Experiment

I've decided to try something new with this blog! It started out as a way to chronicle my League of Legends ranked games, but after Season 2 ended I really lost interest in the idea. I still play LoL a lot but play ranked solo queue a lot less frequently. There's a good chance I'll still touch on it because it's still certainly a part of my life, but it's not going to be the primary focus of the blog (not that it has been for awhile now). What I'm going to do is attempt to start updating this thing daily. I'm not going to be putting out literary articles on a daily basis or anything, but I do want to put out some kind of content, whether it be random musings, blurbs, or anything else I can think of. I just think it will be a good exercise for me. I wrote some video game reviews a few months ago and although I didn't do anything with them, I really really enjoyed writing them. It made me realize how much I still enjoy writing despite never making time for it. So here we are!

I'm going to start out with a little discussion on Baldur's Gate (the original for PC), which I've been playing pretty frequently lately. I played it originally many many years ago and loved it, considering it one of my favorites of all time. After revisiting it, I can safely say that it's still a fantastic game. I'm playing it with a mod that enables you to play the original game with the enhanced Baldur's Gate II engine, which is a really cool experience as well. This is one of those formative games for me--it helped me realize what was possible for the medium as far as storytelling and gameplay goes. Its engrossing to me in a way that most games--modern or otherwise--are not. Dragon Age, touted as BG + BGII's spiritual successor, just didn't impact in the same way. I felt like you were stifled creatively in comparison, but it's completely possible my nostalgia is blinding me. I'll definitely be giving the game another shot sometime down the line.

There are some aspects of Baldur's Gate that have aged. The graphics, even using the Baldur's Gate II engine are pretty primitive. Spell effects are not flashy and the sprites are really low detail, but the fantasy is still totally genuine for me. The way the characters speak, the way party members interact with each other, and even the ridiculously detailed descriptions provided for every single item in the game all create a rich storytelling experience. Sure, some of the dialogue is overwritten or questionable. Dialects can be pretty random--Flaming Fist Soldiers have pseudo-Southern accent, for instance, whereas others will spout Olde English--but there are so many non-player characters scattered throughout the game who have interesting things to say, regardless of whether those things have an impact on the plot.

Baldur's Gate and its sequel, as well as several other BioWare or Black Isle helmed games of the period are set in the Forgotten Realms Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting. I was never a D&D guy. I thought it was interesting, but I never sat down at a table with a bunch of other dudes and put pen to paper to battle dragons. I don't think I had anything against it, necessarily; I just never had the opportunity to pick it up. What I was interested in at the time, however, was the world of Forgotten Realms. Baldur's Gate introduced me to the setting and got me interested. I really enjoyed reading fantasy at the time, so I gathered up every Forgotten Realms novel I could find. I ended up with mostly works by R. A. Salvatore and Elaine Cunningham. It's hard for me to judge the quality of these books so many years later, and I'm sad to say I almost never read anymore--but at the time, I thought they were amazing. Salvatore's works chronicled the adventures of the rogue dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden, the same character who makes an appearance in both the Baldur's Gate games. That connectivity between game and literature was an incredible concept to me.

It's not for me to decide whether Baldur's Gate is art, but it was one of the first games that made me consider the possibility that games could be art. I loved the idea of video games having the richness and complexity of good literature. Even today, I feel games don't often reach that level. I would love to play more games with well-written dialogue, complex characters, and fully realized settings. Baldur's Gate isn't a perfect 10 in any of those categories and in fact in many ways is quite flawed--but I still feel its a seminal release for legitimizing video games as a more serious art form.

These are just some of my impressions without a lot of critical analysis. Baldur's Gate is a really great game but I haven't even touched on a lot of the reasons I find it to be fun. The freedom of customization, exploration, and choice all play a part. The storyline and characters, though good, are second to that. I'm definitely going to touch on this some more tomorrow.