Birthed from Womb of Dragon's Maw

After a ridiculously grueling play session that ended at about 6 AM this morning (at which point I abruptly fell asleep), I finally finished the Android version of Final Fantasy IV. It really is no wonder that my initial playthrough of Final Fantasy IV for DS stalled out right around when I got to the moon. The difficulty level really ramps up on a level that can't adequately be compared to other versions of the game. For comparison, I've generally finished my runs of Final Fantasy IV on other platforms at anywhere from level 45 to 50 with 16 to 21 hours of playtime. On the DS and Android versions of the game, my playtime is closer to 30 hours with levels in the mid to high 60s. I've never considered FFIV an easy game (barring the initial North American release), but the Matrix Software versions of the game really take it to a new level. Of course, this makes the final battle even more satisfying to complete, even if the laborious trek leading up to it might have been a little much.

I've always really enjoyed Final Fantasy IV's combat system because even though it consists primarily of selecting options from a menu, it manages to feel stressful and frenetic. Enemies make decisions in real time, meaning that the player must think quickly to decide the appropriate course of action. It's important to stay on top of keeping the party healed and buffed while dishing out the appropriate amount of damage. I've always found this challenging playstyle addictive since the very first time I played one of the game's many versions. There are many completely turn-based games that somewhat replicate this feel, but none really replicate the intensity that I'm looking for. For whatever reason, Active Time Battle is a relatively rare thing outside the main Final Fantasy series, and of course it's a concept that even that series eventually abandoned.

Games like Etrian Odyssey and Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne are punishingly difficult, but they also give you an adequate amount of time to consider your actions in combat. In Final Fantasy IV, it is important you execute your actions as quickly as possible lest you are struck down by the enemy's frequently powerful attacks. Bosses often employ spells capable of destroying the party in a single blow if the right strategy isn't executed. The final boss in particular casts the dreaded Big Bang attack which will generally wipe out the party if everyone doesn't Defend just beforehand. Fortunately, he rumbles ominously to forecast the attack.

The Android and DS versions of Final Fantasy IV distinguish themselves from other versions of the game both graphically and through gameplay. Although the trajectory of the game is largely identical to other versions, the game's graphics are completely redesigned and rendered in 3D--albeit primitively, since it was designed to take advantage of the Nintendo DS's limited hardware. The Android version's textures are noticeably improved, but it's still pretty apparent the game is a port from a technologically weaker device. Final Fantasy IV for DS and Android also distinguishes itself from other versions with its interesting Augment system.

Final Fantasy IV is well known for its large cast of mostly temporary characters. Cecil encounters a number of allies over the course of the game and eventually settles on a motley band of adventurers in the game's latter half and sticks with them for the game's remainder. Some versions of the game (like the WonderSwan Color and Game Boy Advance versions) addressed this issue by allowing the player to field a party of whatever characters they wished for the game's final sections. I found this to be a fun and satisfying twist on the original game's mechanics and gladly tossed Cid into my final party after acquiring his ultimate hammer in an optional dungeon added just for the Game Boy Advance version's release. In the case of the DS and Android versions, Matrix elected to instead scrap the modular party and use the Augment system instead, a mechanic in which various temporary party member abilities could be transferred to other characters. It became possible for Cecil to use Kick and for Kain to use Darkness. A variety of new abilities were introduced with this system as well, such as Phoenix (a passive ability that sacrifices MP to revive all party members when slain), Dualcasting (cast two spells per turn), and Omnicasting (cast single target spells on all targets).

Final Fantasy IV for Android is the fifth version of the game I've completed, the others being the North American SNES release (FF2 Easytype), the fan translation of the Super Famicom version, the Game Boy Advance version, and the DS version. I have no interest in the WonderSwan Color of PlayStation versions of the game, but I am interested in the PlayStation Portable Final Fantasy IV Complete Collection. Unlike the DS and Android versions, it's completely 2D--and gorgeous, too. I've been meaning to try it out for a long time but never got around to it for some reason. If I ever buy a Vita, I'll definitely download it and give it a play. I've heard that it restores the ability to switch party members like the GBA and WSC versions of the game--a feature I've always enjoyed despite it breaking from convention.

Of course, there's also Final Fantasy IV: The After Years to consider, which I've never really played. I played the first episode the game when it initially released on WiiWare, but never got back to it, despite willing to give it a try. It always struck me as a fangame that somehow got an official release, since it so liberally reuses artwork and music from Final Fantasy IV. Of course, Matrix released a 3D remake of the game on Android/iOS and it's included in the Final Fantasy IV Complete Collection so there's a good chance I'll be playing it. I've heard some pretty mixed things about it, but I'd be happy to form my own opinions.

RPG Bliss

I'm playing a lot of different games right now, but I don't find it stressful or overwhelming. In fact, I'm pretty happy with the situation because I'm really enjoying just about all of them--particularly because two of them I'm playing cooperatively with different people. There's something so satisfying about socializing while playing a game. It's such a wonderful hobby to share with others, particularly when it comes to story-driven RPGs. When both players are working toward a goal and planning and strategizing together--it's really rewarding. I'd previously lamented what I'd identified as "RPG burnout" but I think really what I was dealing with was several games in a row that were lengthy and insanely difficult. That's what happens when you play three Etrian Odyssey titles back to back. Fortunately, games like Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition and (on the complete opposite end of the RPG spectrum) Tales of Xillia have gone a long way toward allaying my frustrations with the genre.

Don't get me wrong--I loved the first three Etrian Odyssey games, but there's no denying that they're tremendously time consuming and unforgiving. I think I made a wise decision not to jump right into Etrian Odyssey IV despite having purchased it at the same time as EOIII. I'm healthily enthralled in the games I'm playing now in a way that I was afraid I wouldn't be. I felt I might have needed to cleanse my palate with a game of a completely different genre, whether it be action, adventure, or otherwise. Of course, I'm still open to those games and I may well move on to them after this batch of games is done. Crypt of the Necrodancer is a fiendishly addictive rhythm-based roguelike that I find I quite enjoy, for instance--and the recently fan-translated Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Path scratches that adventure game itch. It could easily convince me to revisit such games as Dreamfall: The Longest Journey and Monkey Island 2.

For now, I'm enormously excited to be playing Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition, as it more or less eradicates any issues I had with the original version of the game. It's important to have variety when creating a party of six characters, and IWD: EE delivers by importing all of the new and fleshed out classes and subclasses from Baldur's Gate II as well as what I can only assume are a few new ones added just for Beamdog's Enhanced Edition. The amount of diversity in classes is really refreshing. I'm having a lot of fun with it and I can't wait to move on to the enhanced editions of both Baldur's Gate games, having worshiped the original versions for many years. We have tentative plans to play them in three-man co-op, but we'll see how that works out. And then, maybe Neverwinter Nights on down the line? Icewind Dale II? Who knows?

I'm also playing Final Fantasy IV for Android because it's one of the few versions of the game I haven't yet played. I have tentative plans to follow up by playing Final Fantasy IV: The After Years despite some decidedly negative reviews. I think I'd like to give it a try and form my own opinion on it. If it's only useful as fanservice then I'm probably the right audience for it since FFIV was a pretty important part of my childhood and I never really tire of replaying the game.

Hopefully I'll have more fleshed out entries on individual games coming up soon, but considering my bizarre mood swings lately it's difficult to say just when they'll come!

Checking in

Let's take a moment, shall we, to discuss what pitiful reasons I might have to have entirely skipped the month of April for updating this blog. I have no good reasons to share other than my dreadful tendency toward laziness. I've continued to play games and I've continued to adhere strictly to my diet--if not my exercise plan. I've made a few trips to the gym but I haven't been going nearly as often as I'd originally planned. Some of this has to do with social anxiety, but far more of it has to do with simply being lazy.

Laziness is such an insidious and depressing vice of mine that I feel I am doomed to struggle against on a daily basis. It is fueled by but separate from my depression. If I were happier I'd find myself with better tools to combat my laziness but I feel pretty strongly that it'd always be there. Whether I like it or not, it seems to be an irrevocable part of my personality. On good days, I'll be able to overcome or even ignore my lazy tendencies, but unfortunately, I've found it very difficult to want to get off the couch lately unless I'm absolutely required to do so.

Despite my poor track record at the gym, my weight loss continues to progress at a satisfying rate. I weighed in at 213 on Saturday, which is roughly 40 pounds from my starting weight. My body shape has visually changed and I've gone down a couple of pants sizes and I feel pretty comfortable wearing a large shirt--but my discomfort with my body and anxiety about my body have not gone away. In some ways, I feel more stressed out about it than before because I'm now less complacent about the state of my health. Because I'm no longer in denial I find myself forced to confront the way I really am and just how out of shape I was and continue to be. I can only hope that my feelings will improve as I continue to shed more weight--and perhaps more importantly that I will overcome my sloth and get my ass to the gym on a regular basis. I went recently and pushed myself really hard and that felt good after the ache subsided. Now that the pain is almost completely gone I feel like a slob! If I don't remain in constant motion I feel like I'm failing. I feel like I'm failing a lot.

It would have been so easy for me with my vast amounts of free time to visit this blog and write entries, most likely about the games I've been playing. I certainly have things to say about them. I've started to feel a little weird, however, about writing about my fitness journey. I almost feel like I'm jinxing myself even though I haven't yet plateaued. I'm continue to lose weight at a steady pace but I'm afraid that I'll stop and start gaining it back at any minute. Those fears aren't completely without a basis even though I have been very consistent with my diet. I have to exercise. It's important. Even if I do maintain the diet and continue to lose weight, I'll still be flabby and unappealing.

Self loathing and anxiety aren't typically great motivators, but when I'm sinking I'll grab anything that seems like it'll keep me afloat. I'm just worried that even if I do chisel my body into something much more appealing, my anxieties will remain--except this time it'll be called body dysmorphia because in reality I'll have nothing with which I should be concerned. That would be better than my current situation, I guess.

Honestly, I have a whole world of thought I'd like to explore, but it's late and the caffeine I've consumd is really doing a great job of blocking my thoughts from getting out. I have games to talk about and more to discuss on my current mental state--but that'll have to wait for another entry. Let's hope I follow up in less than a month this time.